Coming back
by Fiji Dreamer
Summary: Sequel for "Missing Him", set 3 years after Reichenbach. Molly and John have raised Sherlock's daughter and are happily married. They have no idea of the shock they are about to get. John/Molly, Sherlock/Molly, Sherlock/Irene. Now complete !
1. Morning news

_~ Hello again !_

_This is the sequel of my first fic "Missing Him". If you didn't read it, here is a (very) short summary: Sherlock and Molly had an affair, she got pregnant, he died at Reichenbach Falls, she had a baby girl and… finally married John. Well it's a bit more complicated than that so I suggest your first read it if you haven't already!_

_By the way, thank you so much to all of you who reviewed and subscribed to "Missing Him". It was my first story ever. I hope you will enjoy this one equally._

_The story begins about 1 year and ½ after Molly and John's wedding, so 3 years after Sherlock's death. ~_

^/^

**Chapter 1**

"Audrey, stop playing with your food, put it in your mouth darling."

Audrey Watson, 2 and ½, was not very keen on breakfast. She was splashing her spoon in her bowl which was already surrounded by a pond of milk.

"I'm not hungry !"

"Well it's always the same story. You're not hungry now and then you'll eat all sorts of bad things before lunch."

"Not my cereals !", said the little girl with a frown.

"It's exactly the same. They just changed the box" replied Molly with a hint of exasperation. Mornings with two children were always a bit hectic. She went back to the bedroom where baby Jack, 4 months, was waiting for his bottle.

John was left to supervise Audrey's breakfast, while he was drinking his coffee.

"Hey sweetie, eat a little bit. For daddy, ok?"

"Ok…" She didn't sound very convinced and looked back at her bowl with a sad face. John knew very well that part of it was acting, but he could never stand to see his daughter unhappy. He tried to cheer her up by asking about her day.

"So what are you going to do today?"

"We go to the park."

"You're going to the park with mummy and Jack, this is fun. What do you like to do at the park?"

"I like the slide. And play in the sand."

"You play in the sand with your friends?"

She nodded. "Lucy, and Thomas and Andrew but I don't like him".

"Why don't you like him?"

"He pulled my hair!"

"Yes that is not very nice. Well tell him that he does it again, I will pay him a little visit."

They were suddenly interrupted by a ring at the door.

"Are we excepting someone?" asked John.

"No. Can you go, I'm busy?"

"I'll get it !"

John went to open the door, but found no one behind it. At first he thought it was probably a joke or a mistake, but then he saw a copy of _The Times _on the carpet. They didn't have a subscription. He hesitated for a moment but finally picked it up and closed back the door.

"Who was it?" asked Molly from the bedroom.

"I don't know it's strange. Hum… Someone left a newspaper at the door. Oh wait, there's a note it's from Mycroft."

He went back to the kitchen and settled at the table with the newspaper. Audrey was now involved in a potentially dangerous experiment with a jam pot.

The note from Mycroft was brief: "_Page 16, MH_". John's curiosity got caught and he quickly flipped through the pages. Page 16 covered the national news and was composed by many small articles. His eyes wandered between the titles until one in particular made his jaw drop.

"Oh my… Molly you need to come see this."

"What?"

"The newspaper, you won't believe it."

Molly appeared shortly after, holding a blond baby boy in her arms.

"What are you talking about?" she asked.

"They got Moran".

"Are you serious?"

"Hear that :

"_London, 31__st__ May. _

_Sebastian Moran, 44, was arrested on Monday while he was trying to board on a train at Paddington Station. Moran, former colonel of the British army, had been on Interpol's most wanted list from 2010. He is __suspected__ of involvement in a wide range of __international____criminal activities. He could also be responsible for the mysterious murder of Ronald Adair which took place last year._ "

"Wow", she sighed. "Thank god, does that mean we'll finally be at rest?"

"He was the last one they were looking for. This time I think it's over" he answered with a smile.

"Do you think Mycroft will take back the bodyguard? I can't stand it anymore."

"We see uncle Mycroft?" interrupted Audrey

"Not today honey, on Sunday", replied Molly.

"Why ?"

"Because he is working today."

"Why ?"

"Because he is very busy".

"Uncle Mycroft is your brother or daddy's brother?"

Molly remained silent and a look of panic spread over her face.

So far they hadn't told her at all about Sherlock. It was a frequent subject of discussion in the couple, which often ended in a row. John was in favor of telling her the truth as soon as possible. Even if he had adopted Audrey, a part of him was fearing the day she would discover he was not her "real" father. He believed that the earlier it would be, the easier she would accept it.

Molly knew that the time would come when she would have to explain that before John, there had been another daddy, which had died before Audrey was even born. But for the moment she wanted to protect her daughter's childhood and innocence. She didn't need to know about death, and Moriarty, and Reichenbach Falls. She also knew that Audrey was a smart child, and that questions would inevitably come one day or another. She didn't expect it to be so soon.

She tried to regain her composure and continued:

"Why are you asking that honey?"

"Lucy said her uncle Paul is her mummy's brother."

John saw that his wife was desperately looking for an answer so he took over:

"Well... Sometimes your uncle can be the brother of your mummy or daddy, but not always. So Mycroft is not my brother or mummy's, but he is still your uncle. Do you understand?"

"No", said Audrey shaking her head.

"You will when you grow up. You like your uncle Mycroft do you?"

"Yes!" she replied enthusiastly.

"Then it's the only thing that matters." She seemed temporarily satisfied with the answer. John exchanged a relieved glance with Molly, then looked at his watch. "Oh I'm running late!"

He quickly gathered his things and grabbed his jacket.

"Good bye little rascal", he said to baby Jack. Then, he gave Molly a kiss and whispered in her ear : "It's going to be all fine. How can a day start better than this ?".

She smiled him back, "I love you".

Finally he took Audrey in his arms saying: "Hey princess, give daddy a kiss before he goes to work."

John got his kiss, as well as a large stain of strawberry jam on his white shirt. He looked pissed off for a moment, then burst into laughing.

"That's my girl !" he exclaimed.


	2. Sherlock's story

**~ Thank you so much for your feedback !**

**So here is chapter 2, took me quite a long time to write. An important part of it is directly inspired from Conan Doyle's story "The Empty House". And Sherlock BBC of course belongs to the wonderful Mr Gatiss & Moffat.**

**Enjoy ! ~**

**Chapter 2**

A new shirt and a tube ride later, John arrived at his practice with a day of consultations ahead of him.

He honestly enjoyed his life as a doctor. Of course the succession of colds and flu wasn't always medically exciting, but there was also a human side to his job. Sometimes a few words exchanged with the patient meant much more than the symptoms themselves.

Doris, the assistant to the three doctors working there, greeted him and informed him about his schedule of the day. "Mrs Wilkes called this morning to cancel. Oh and a sales representative from a laboratory came this morning. He didn't have an appointment but since you had nothing until 10 I told him to wait in your office, is that fine?"

"Yes, Thank you Doris."

"How is the family doing? You have to tell Molly to come with the kids one of these days. I didn't even see Jack yet! And I bet Audrey must have grown up."

"Oh Yes ! I'm sure she would love to come, we'll organise that."

"Good. Would you like a coffee ?"

"God yes !"

It was already his second coffee this morning. But nights were short with a 4 month baby and he needed something strong to start the day. He picked up his mail, and entered his office where the man in question was waiting.

^/^

"Good morning, sorry for the wait. Dr John Watson".

"Peter Sigerson, Pzifer. Thank you for receiving me".

"Please have a seat."

The man was wearing a brown suit. He had blond hair with bangs that almost covered his eyes and large horn-rimmed glasses. He started to take out some papers from his leather briefcase and cleared his voice before beginning to speak hesitantly:

"So…hum. I am here today to present you some of our upcoming products." He looked at his notes anxiously. "So, we have a new anti-inflammatory molecule. It… hum. It reduces the risk of side effects such as…" Sigerson seemed completely lost and was browsing nervously through his notes. John was looking at him with something between irritation and pity

"… Such as…" Suddenly all his papers fell on the floor and he bent down to pick them up. John had to bite his lip hard not to laugh. Hopefully the man couldn't see him because of the desk between them.

"Do you need any help ?" he managed between two chuckles.

"No, I'm perfectly fine."

John froze. The man's voice had changed, it wasn't hesitating anymore. It was a voice that could belong to only one man in the world. _A voice from beyond the grave_. No it was stupid. He really needed to sleep more at night. He took his head between his hands and closed his eyes. When he reopened them, the man had got back on his feet. The blond hair was gone, replaced by a mass of familiar black curls. The glasses had disappeared as well. Now he could see clearly his eyes, ice blue, piercing through his. John felt a pain spreading in his chest.

He stood up, and realised his hand was shaking now. Was it a ghost? A bad joke? Or an hallucination? A sentence echoed in his mind: _"When you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth." _

Sherlock Holmes was standing in his office, smiling at him. It was the last thing John saw before his vision blurred completely.

^/^

It turned out he had fainted for the first time in his life. When he regained consciousness, Sherlock was bending over his chair, giving him a concerned look.

"Hello John", said the familiar voice.

John was staring at him in complete incredulity, suddenly he grabbed his arm to make sure he was real.

"Sherlock… is it really you ?"

The detective went to seat back in front of him.

"Don't be ridiculous, of course it's me! I'm sorry John. You know I can never resist a bit of drama… But I didn't imagine you would get such a shock."

John shook his head, still trying to process the information into his mind. _Sherlock was alive_… And he was there, in his office. He hadn't changed much, still too thin for his own good. His skin was slightly tanned though, and there was a scar on his chin that hadn't been there before.

"How can it be ? Sherlock you were DEAD ! We buried you !"

"You buried an empty coffin", he corrected with his usual precision.

"But… how the hell did you get out of the falls ?"

"Do you mind if I have a cigarette? Yes, I relapsed…"

His long hands reached into his pocket and pulled out a packet of cigarettes and a lighter. John was about to object, but the surprise and the joy to see his friend was stronger.

Sherlock took a drag and exhaled the smoke slowly. Then he continued: "I had no difficulty in getting out of it… for the simple reason that I never was in it."

"You never were in it?"

"No. But the letter I left you was absolutely sincere. When I saw Moriarty standing on that path, I had little illusions as to coming back alive. There was that look in his eyes... He was courteous enough to let me write you this note. We fought with bare hands, no weapons. He knew that everything was already lost for him in London. He just wanted revenge, even if that meant dying with me. And it was close that we fell together into the abyss. He just didn't know that I have some basic knowledge of martial arts. I managed to free myself at the last moment and… I saw him falling. He struck a rock, bounded off, and splashed into the water. Not a pretty sight I can tell you…"

"But… the tracks? I saw it myself. Two lines of footsteps leading to the falls, and none returning."

"Let me explain. Even before Moriarty's body had reached the bottom of the falls, a plan had formed in my mind. I realised that I was being given a fantastic opportunity. There were at least three other men determined to kill me. And the death of their boss would only increase their desire of vengeance. But if I could make them believe I was dead… then I knew that at some point they would make a mistake and we would be able to catch them…

I couldn't come back on the path, it would have left tracks. So there was only one solution : climbing the cliff. And believe me, it was not easy. The rocks were slippery and I really thought that my time had come. But I somehow managed to reach a ledge covered with green moss. I could rest there for a moment without being seen. And I saw you, looking for me. Investigating with my own methods, and reaching the fatal conclusion. When you finally went back to the hotel, I thought I was out of trouble. But suddenly, a huge rock fell from above and boomed past me. For an instant I thought it was an accident. But then I looked up and saw the head of a man. Moriarty had come alone… A second stone struck the ledge upon which I was stretched, within a foot of my head. I had no choice but tumbling down on to the path. At some point I slipped but I finally landed on the road. I was exhausted and bleeding, but alive. I ran ten miles over the mountains in the darkness… and one week later I found myself in Florence. I saw that the newspaper had officially announced my death… it was time for Sherlock Holmes to disappear.

Mycroft was the only one to know the truth. I contacted him because I needed some money. John… I swear I wanted to call you many times. But there was too much at stake. At first, I thought I could come back quickly. But, things didn't go as easy as I expected. The trial of Moriarty's gang left two of his most dangerous men out. So I had to stay away from London. I travelled for two years through Asia. I spent some times in Tibet, and in India. I even met with the Dalai Lama in Dharamshala. Then I did a few missions for the secret services in the Middle East: Iran, Saudi Arabia, Sudan… Finally I spent the last months in France, doing some research in a lab at Montpellier. I knew that one my enemies had been arrested. The only one left was Moran. But he got sloppy by killing Adair last year. Last week I was informed that Mycroft's team had a serious lead. So I decided it was time for me to come back. The rest you're read in the newspaper, which… I delivered by the way."

He looked back at John, waiting for a reaction.

"That's unbelievable… truly unbelievable", said the doctor. He sighted heavily. "And I can't believe you didn't trust me enough to let me know! You chose to contact Mycroft over me ?"

"John, don't be upset. Mycroft's position gave him access to secure communications. It was a more logical choice. And the fewer people knew, the better. Also…if you hadn't thought I was dead, you wouldn't have written such a convincing article on your blog."

Sherlock sent him a pleading look, just like a child who wants to be forgiven after a big mistake. _Just like Audrey_, he though. John felt angry and hurt, but also absolutely ecstatic.

"I kind of want to beat you up right now… but I'm also bloody happy to see you."

The detective gave him a true, honest smile.

"So what… are you plans?" continued John.

"Well, yesterday I went to Baker Street and almost gave our dear Mrs Hudson a heart attack. I saw that my brother had kept the flat and all my papers as I had left them. I sat in my old armchair, had a little chat with my skull… Tomorrow I will a pay visit to Lestrade and see what he has in store for me. London's criminal scene has become a bit dull since Moriarty's death but I hope I can still find a good mystery. Now I'm only waiting for you!", he said enthusiastly.

"Well I'd really like to join you but I'm afraid I'm… not as available as before."

"Oh", answered Sherlock quietly, "I see."

He had put on his emotionless mask, but John could tell that he was disappointed. He was probably excited to be back to his former life in London, and it was hard telling him that things had changed in his absence.

"Sherlock it's…"

"You have your job, I understand but… it wouldn't have to be all the time. Only for the cases on which I need on assistant. And if it's about the money… we can find an arrangement."

"No… it's. Well yes there's my job of course but not only. I'm a married man now."

"I know", he stated.

"Look, Molly and I went through very hard times after… you were gone. And, somehow, it brought us together. I don't want you to think that I tried to take your place or…"

"Oh no no no, I… don't blame you for anything. Actually I should rather thank you."

There was an awkward silence. John noticed that Sherlock's eyes were wandering on a frame on his desk. It was a picture of him, along with Molly and the children. It had been taken shortly after Jack's birth. John shifted uncomfortably in his seat. He dreaded to bring up the subject.

"So… you also know that you're a father?"

"No", said Sherlock. "You, are a father."

John felt slightly relieved. It was true, Audrey was his daughter. But there was also something in Sherlock's tone that he didn't like. Some sort of insecurity. That was new. He realised how lonely Sherlock must have been during those three years. Instinctively, he took the picture and handed it to his friend.

Sherlock took it, and studied the scene carefully.

"She's got your eyes. It's a bit unsettling at times."

"Is she… normal?" asked Sherlock hesitantly.

"What do you mean?", replied John, puzzled by the question.

"Is she like me?"

He understood.

"She's a bit of a sulker, which probably comes from you. She throws a tantrum once in while but that's mainly because your brother spoils her too much. She's very funny, she's curious of everything. She has friends. Sherlock… she's a perfectly normal little girl."

"Good", he simply replied. For a moment, an indefinable expression passed over his face. He looked lost in his thoughts, almost dreamy. Finally he put the picture back on John's desk and got back to his usual self in an instant.

"So, will you consider my offer?", he asked.

"Yes. But I need to discuss it with my wife first. And by the way… I'd rather if you would let me break the news to Molly. You're still a sensitive subject and I don't think she will appreciate your theatrical effects."

"Alright."

There was a knock at the door, and Doris' face appeared.

"Doctor, sorry to interrupt but your next appointment has arrived."

"Thank you Doris, tell him to wait just a minute."

Sherlock got up. "Well, I'll leave you to your… _patients_". He had pronounced that last word with some kind of disdain. "You're welcome to Baker Street anytime. And sorry for the smoke, I need to get back to my patches."

John got up as well and walked him back to the door.

Sherlock hold him a hand. "I missed you John."

John took his hand, then spontaneously pulled him into a hug. It took Sherlock by surprise and he stiffened a little bit. Then he relaxed and hugged him back.

"Missed you more than you can imagine" murmured John.

Once he had left, John leaned back against the door, wondering if the incredible scene which had just taken place had been the product of his imagination. First he needed to see Mycroft and punch him in the face. Then… he had no idea on how he would be able to tell it to Molly.


	3. A sunday at the beach

John would rarely meet with Mycroft at his office. Generally it would be at his Pall Mall apartment, or at any random location the black car would take him to. But this afternoon, he stormed into the building without having requested an appointment. The older Holmes was seated behind his desk, as impassive as always. He showed him a seat, but John preferred to stand.

"I suppose you received a visit from my brother this morning ? I warned him not to be too dramatic but... you know how he is."

"You", started John, "are a fucking bastard !"

Mycroft frowned, but did not interrupted him.

"All this time... from the funeral, you knew ! You knew and you didn't say anything ! All this time you knew he was going to come back , but you let us mourn him, you let me marry Molly... "

"Did I force you to do anything John ?"

"No ! But don't you realize what this mean ? I adopted Audrey ! Tell me Mycroft, how could you let that happen ?"

"I did what was for the best."

"For the best ?"

"Let us be serious for one moment John. Do you honestly believe Sherlock would have married Molly ? Can you imagine him as a suitable father ?"

"I don't know... But you didn't let him the chance to prove you wrong."

"Sherlock was very much aware of everything that was going on in his absence and he did not object. I was sending him regular reports. Even if the romance which... _bloomed _between you and Molly was unexpected, it did not change anything to the plan."

"The plan ?", sniffed John. "So that's what we are to you, pawns. Me, Molly even Audrey..."

"You know very well that this is not true." There might have a been an hint of sincerity in his voice but John didn't really care anymore.

Mycroft continued "Those years have not been easy for Sherlock as well. And now he comes back to find a world which has changed. He is going to need you John."

"I know... But what I am supposed to do with my family ?"

"Just tell them the truth."

"You are in no position to lecture me about the truth."

^/^

Sherlock had made his apparition in John's practice on Monday. Now it was already Friday, and he still hadn't talked to Molly. Every morning, John would wake up with the firm intention of telling her. But he could never find the right moment. Well, not that there really was a right moment for it anyway. Let's rather say "the least bad" one.

He was meeting with Sherlock everyday after his work. It was an incredible sensation being reunited there, in their old living room of Baker Street. But the detective was getting impatient. He had been hiding for three long years, and now that he was back in London, he wanted to be able to go around and see people as he intended to. He couldn't see why John was making such a fuss about talking to his wife and stated that marriage had turned him into a coward. Finally, he suggested that John should take Molly out of town for the week end. Maybe a change of environment would be favorable.

John never liked relying on Sherlock's advise when it came to women. However, he had to admit that the idea was interesting. They would avoid the usual Sunday's lunch at Mycroft's which could have been awkward after their last encounter. Also, Molly would be more relaxed which would make things easier. The weather forecast was announcing some sun, and Audrey had never seen the sea yet, so he chose Brighton.

He presented it as a surprise, and an apologize for having worked late all week. Molly was a bit taken aback but she gladly agreed. Audrey was absolutely excited and asked if she would be able to see Nemo. On Saturday morning, the whole family was driving South.

^/^

They took a walk on the pier, John carrying Audrey on his shoulders and Molly with the pushchair. At night, they spent some time at the funfair and had dinner at a seafood restaurant. John had booked a room in a lovely Victorian B&B. Everything was perfect and Molly seemed to be enjoying herself.

The plan was working, now it was time to act. However it seemed that Molly had other things on her mind that evening, which John didn't complain about. They were involved in a passionate kiss when John's phone beeped. He grabbed it by automatism and read the message. It was from Sherlock of course : _"Have you told her yet ? SH". _He ignored it, but a few minutes later, the phone beeped again. This time, Molly gave him a nasty look :

"Who is texting you at this time on Saturday night ?"

"It's... nothing" said John, "nothing important".

He turned off the phone and shoved into bedside table, getting back to much more interesting activities.

On Sunday, they had a picnic on the beach. The weather was really warm for June, and even if it the water was still too chilly for a swim, everybody seemed to have great fun.

John tried to start a book, but after ten minutes, he still hadn't gone through the first page. He gave up, and just enjoyed the scene taking place in front of him. Molly was picking shells with Audrey, who had decided to start a collection.

He though that his wife looked cute in those bikinis, even after two children. She had recently cut her long hair, arguing that it was more convenient, but it suited her well. They had ups and downs, like every other couple, but they were happy. He wondered what Sherlock's reappearance would change about that. He realised that he still knew very little of the exact nature of Molly and Sherlock's past relationship, as she was always reluctant to speak about him. But he knew for sure that she had loved him, and a part of him couldn't help feeling jealous.

Then his eyes went on Audrey. She did look like her mum, with her equally brown straight hair up in a ponytail. But looking closer, one could see the slight differences in her features. The most striking being those beautiful, cat-like blue eyes. Soon, he would have to talk to her as well. He didn't know how to find the words to explain that even if it wasn't his name showing on her birth certificate, he was still her dad. Well... one of her dads since Sherlock was back. He hadn't asked much about her so far, which was not surprising. Sherlock and children were two words that didn't really fit in the same sentence. And yet, he remembered the strange look on his face when he had showed him her picture.

He though about Sherlock's offer, to work with him again on certain cases. It was certainly tempting. As much as domestic life suited him, he still missed a bit of action. During those three years, he had always kept an eye on any mysterious murder or mystery displayed in the newspaper, sometimes even trying to come up with his own theory. Of course he would keep his regular job. John Watson, part-time doctor, part-time... what ? Assistant consulting detective ? Yes, he would sign for that. Well... of course only if Molly agreed.

She came back to seat on the towel next to his and started applying sunscreen. Jack was still napping peacefully under the beach umbrella, while Audrey was playing a few feet away. _That's it_, thought John, but Molly didn't let him the time to start a conversation.

"You know what she just asked me ?", she said sounding amused.

"No ?"

"Mum, can I have cousins ?"

"Really ? Well I think there's little to expect from my sister's side."

"Then our only hope is Mycroft !". She turned and handed him the sunscreen bottle. "Can you do my back ?"

"Yes of course". He started massaging her shoulders and kissed her neck. "What did you say ? Mycroft having children ?"

"Yes ! Seriously, what is he waiting for ? He adores Audrey !"

"Yes..."

"Maybe we should have invited him."

"Who ?"

"Mycroft ! With Anthea. So we could have found out if there's really something going on. I'm sure there is. Are you listening to anything I'm saying ?"

"Yes, yes...to invite Mycroft, no I don't think it would have been a good idea. Molly, speaking of him... there is something I need to tell you about..."

"Where is she ?", she brutally interrupted.

"What ?"

"Audrey, I don't see her anymore !"

John looked in front of him, Audrey was nowhere to be seen. Molly was beginning to panic.

"Where is she ? What if she went into the water ?"

"No, she can't be far, she was there one minute ago. Stay here with the baby, I'll find her."

"John !"

"I'll find her !"

He got up and started looking around. She really couldn't have gone far in so little time. But the beach was crowded, which was making it harder. _Try to think, what would Sherlock do ? Footsteps ? _There weren't any because of the he started walking and calling for her. He was trying not to sound too alarmed but he felt his heartbeat rising in his chest. _Why hadn't he be watching ? _What is someone had _taken_ her ? The though only made him shiver. He stopped and looked around. Audrey was easily distracted, something or someone must have caught her attention. _Ice cream vendor ? _He couldn't see any around. _Maybe other children ? _There were plenty of them. Some with their parents, others playing with a dog, some playing by the sea. _Wait a minute ? _Yes it was her, walking by the seaside, with her sand bucket in hand. He felt a wave of relief, and ran to meet her.

He knelt to the ground and grabbed her by both arms.

"Audrey you must never do that again ! Never you understand ?"

"Do what ?" she asked innocently.

"Walking away without telling mummy or daddy. It can be dangerous."

"I saw a crab."

"You saw a crab..." He couldn't help giggling. "Ok but next time call me, I'll come with you. I'm good with crabs."

"Ok", she said.

"Mummy is not happy, she was really scared you know."

Molly jumped on her feet when she saw John and Audrey coming back.

"Oh my god, is she ok ?"

"She's perfectly fine. Our little adventuress was... crab hunting a little further."

As a punishment, Audrey was assigned to stay on a her towel for the rest of the time. Of course she got rapidly bored, and started whining about everything. As a result, the beach experience was shortened and everybody got back to the hotel. The week end was over, and John still hadn't tell anything.

^/^

They arrived in London by eight. It had been a quite drive. Audrey was usually pretty agitated on car trips, but sea air had tired her out, much to her parent's relief. John carried her directly to her bed. Molly took care of Jack, then cooked a quick dinner for the two of them. John had decided to postponed the dreaded moment once again, thinking that his wife already had enough emotions for the day after the beach incident.

However, there was some sort of unsolved tension going on between them.

Molly was not stupid, she had started to notice the changes in his behaviour. The distracted look on his face, the way he seemed to avoid her eyes, the plate he didn't finished. It had been going on for a while now and she was determined to find out what was behind it. Even if it should hurt.

By the time they got to bed, she confronted him.

"John what's going on ?"

"What ?"

"You, what is wrong with you ?", she asked again, giving him an accusatory look.

"Nothing, everything is fine..."

'No, it's not fine ! There is something you're not telling me, I can feel it. You come back home late, you're getting those messages on your phone all the time, you're acting strange and now you suddenly take us on a week end trip...oh my god." It seemed that a realization had hit her.

"Are you seeing someone ?"

"Ok yes... I mean no ! Not in that way !" John realised the implications of his answers, but it was too late. The bomb was dropped. This had gone wrong, completely wrong.

"Oh my... I can't believe it ! How could you !"

She quickly moved out of the bed but he tried to hold her back, grabbing her wrist lightly. "Darling, it's really not what you think..."

She pushed him away, and started pacing nervously in the room.

"Who is it ? Is it your assistant ? I'm sure it's her, she's always around you..."

"Molly listen to me, for god sake I'M NOT HAVING AN AFFAIR !". He hadn't mean to yell, but the absurdness of the conversation was driving him crazy.

"Shut up, you'll wake up the kids !" She continued almost whispering : "You just said you're seeing someone, and it all makes sense now. Stop lying, tell me who it is ?"

He looked down and sighted . Then, he looked back at her and said calmly : "It's Sherlock."

Her mouth opened a little bit as she was about to say something, but she hesitated. She studied him for a moment, and shook her head.

"That's not funny John. Really not. That's unworthy of you." He could tell there was some disappointment in her voice, and sadness. She turned around, ready to walk toward the door.

"Molly wait, it's not a joke ! Sherlock is alive !"

She froze and he pursued : "He came back one week ago. I was waiting for the right moment to tell you but... I guess I screwed up."

She turned back to him, looking horrified. "Have you lost your mind ? Sherlock is dead, dead and buried !"

"No Molly. I thought so, we all thought so. But he faked his death. He's been away from London all this time, and he came back because there were about to arrest Moran. I know it sounds unbelievable but it's the truth. I came back late because we were meeting after my work, and that was him texting me earlier. I took you to Brighton because I thought it would give me the opportunity to talk to you. There's nobody else in my life, I swear."

He could see her face turning white as he was speaking. She almost stumbled.

"Listen, I know it's a shock, come and sit here", said John, offering her his hand.

"You're lying..." she murmured. Before he had the time to realize, she ran out of the room and locked herself in the bathroom. John was standing outside the door, trying to calm her.

"Molly open the door please."

"Leave me alone !" she shouted with tears in her voice.

"I know you're angry, I can understand. But there's not need to be scared, it doesn't change anything for us. Actually it's a wonderful news !"

He got no answer, except heavy sobs coming from the other side of the door.

Suddenly, he heard a voice, but it was the one he was expecting. His daughter was standing in the corridor, looking at him with sleepy eyes.

"Daddy ?"

"Audrey, why are you up ? It's late, go back to sleep honey."

"Why do you yell ?", asked the little girl.

"I... I was not yelling. I was talking a bit loud, sorry. I'll take you back to your bed, ok ? "

"I want Mummy !"

John looked embarrassed. "Mummy... cannot come right now. She'll come and give you a kiss later."

"Mummy is crying ?"

There was no purpose denying it, she could hear her as much as he did. "She's just a bit sad", he answered softly.

"Because of the beach ?"

"No, it has nothing to do with you my heart. Now you need to be a good girl and go back to sleep." He lifted her in his arms.

"I don't want her to be sad", said Audrey.

"Me neither. It will go better, I promise."

As he finished his sentence, a cry came up from Jack's bedroom. Actually, things had just gotten worse. At this moment, John couldn't help but cursing Sherlock for the mess he had turned his life into.


	4. Talk to him

**Chapter 4**

« I need you on this case. »

« Sherlock… we've been over this before. I can't do it behind Molly's back. »

The detective rolled his eyes and sighed heavily in exasperation.

«Oh please… You invaded Afghanistan, but you need your wife's permission to do a bit of investigation around London? »

"Of course, I need to talk to her about what I do. That's called being married! And it's not only about the job, it's about… you. Whenever your name is pronounced either she tries to avoid the conversation or she completely freaks out."

It had been three weeks since John had broken the news to Molly and she still refused to have a proper talk on the subject.

"This is ridiculous…" murmured Sherlock.

"Look…" John hesitated for a moment. "I don't know exactly what happened between you and Molly and I don't want to. But she's obviously holding some kind of… grudge against you."

Sherlock looked on the floor, slightly embarrassed. "I understand we haven't parted on good terms, but it was three years ago and now you're together. I thought she would have forgotten."

"Ah…you still have a lot to learn about women. They never forget!"

"Then I need to talk to her."

"I don't think she'll accept, but I'll try again. To be honest I'm tired of the situation myself."

"And… you miss the chase."

"Just a little bit."

"You're bored !"

"I have two children under the age of three, believe me I'm never bored!"

"Maybe, but you need the adrenaline. Otherwise you wouldn't have started gambling again."

"How do you…? Nevermind, it's only few pounds."

"Online poker? A dangerous hobby for a family man."

John didn't argue, he knew he would never have the last word with Sherlock anyway.

"So… what is this case of yours about?"

Sherlock grinned. "This is a fantastic one. Jabez Wilson, 56, works as a pawnbroker at Coburg Square, near the City. Two months ago, he replied to an ad published in the Daily Mail. It was a job offer, from a company called the Red-Headed League. It turned out to be some kind of philanthropic organization dedicated to the wellness of red headed men. Oh I forgot to mention that my client has the most flamboyant shade of red hair. So, he went to the interview and got the job."

"What job?" asked John, raising an eyebrow.

"That's where it becomes even weirder. He has to come to their office four hours a day and copy the Encyclopaedia Britannica. The job is purely nominal but he gets paid 500£ a week. Well used to… Because last Monday, he came and found the office empty. There was just a note saying that the league had been dissolved. So now he is angry and thinks he has been fooled. Of course the man is an idiot, but his story is fascinating. And I suspect there is some pretty nasty business behind all this."

"The Red-Headed League" repeated John. He started giggling uncontrollably. "The Red-Headed… oh my this is a good one!"

A smile cracked across Sherlock's face and soon the two men were sharing a memorable laughing fit.

"So ? Can I count on my blogger? Like in the good old days?"

"God yes !"

^/^

Molly had been in the bathroom for almost an hour. She had taken a shower, brushed her teeth and combed her hair, but now she was just standing there, staring at her reflection in the mirror. There were dark circles around her eyes, caused by too many sleepless nights. She was trying to put on a brave face for her children, but inside she was breaking down.

From the moment John had told about Sherlock's come back, her world had collapsed. She knew she should be happy, everybody expected her to. But instead of joy, an almost irrational fear had sized her. She was afraid of the consequences for Audrey, but most of all, she panicked at the idea of seeing Sherlock again. She was terribly angry at him. She could actually strangle him with her own hands for the pain he had caused her and all of his friends. Why kind of people faked their own death?

And yet, there were those moments when all she wanted was to hold him in her arms. She would tell him how much she had missed him and how beautiful his daughter was. But she couldn't take the risk of falling again for him. Her love for John was real, but she had never ceased thinking about Sherlock. A married woman could allow herself a bit of nostalgia about of a dead lover. But now that he was back among the living, it was different. He was a threat.

So she was standing there, waiting for her husband to fall asleep before going to bed herself, because she didn't want to talk about it. She entered their bedroom in the dark and sneaked under the sheets. After a short moment, she felt John's body curling against hers. He wasn't sleeping. Instead he started kissing her neck while his hand was wandering along her tight.

"I'm not in the mood for this", she whispered.

He rolled to the other side of the bed, obviously annoyed. They remained silent for a while, then he suddenly turned on the light.

"I've had enough", he said bluntly.

"What?"

"Molly, I'm trying to be patient… but I have my limit. This whole thing about Sherlock is getting ridiculous. I can understand it was a shock, I get that there is some sort of unresolved conflict between you two but… you need to find a solution because I'm getting tired. You think I don't see? How you try to avoid the subject every time I bring it up? How you're avoiding me? And now we can't even have sex anymore!"

She looked away, unable to meet with his eyes or to answer. John rarely got angry, but when he did, it could be quite impressive.

"Oh and by the way" he added, "Sherlock and I are going to start working together again".

"I'm sorry? What about your job?"

"I'm not quitting. I'll find an arrangement with the practice, it will only be on some cases."

"John, I don't think this is a good idea…"

"I'll do it with or without your consent. For god sake Molly, I don't understand you anymore. You missed him as much as I did. It's a miracle that he's back and you don't want to see him?"

"I don't know…" she said as tears started falling down her cheeks. "I don't want things to change. He wants you to work with him. What will it be next? What if he wants you to move back with him? What if he wants to take Audrey away from us?"

John shook his head and looked at wife almost with pity. "You realise this is all in your head…" He placed a finger under her chin and lifted her face. "Please talk to him. You'll see he has changed, for the best."

Molly knew she had no choice, she couldn't avoid him forever. And if she didn't do something soon, she was also risking to lose John. So she would be strong, meet Sherlock, and make things clear. Very clear.

"Alright…" she murmured.

"Really?", answered John, almost surprised. "Good. Do you want me to come with you?"

"No, I'd rather be alone. Tell him I'll come to Baker Street, tomorrow."

^/^

_So… Sherlock & John will be back at solving crimes together. Molly and Sherlock are going to meet again ! And it will soon be time for Audrey to learn about her other daddy._

_Reviews are loved ;-)_


	5. Three Years

**Chapter 5**

24 hours after the dramatic events of Reichenbach Falls, Sherlock managed to contact his brother from a little village of the Swiss Alps. As he had expected, everybody including Mycroft had believed that he had met a tragic end along with Moriarty. They both agreed that it would be safer to keep the truth about his survival secret for the time being. Sherlock told him about the files in his computer in which he would find all the information he had gathered about his enemy's network. With Lestrade's help, they should be able to arrest hundreds of his agents across the world. He asked his brother to keep an eye on John. He also informed him that a woman called Molly Hooper was pregnant with his child, which Mycroft unsurprisingly already knew.

One week later, he arrived in Florence. He bought an edition of The Times in which there was a full article about his death. As a little boy, he had taught himself to read with the obituaries in the newspaper. His parents had considered it to be a worrying morbid obsession, but to him it was only a game. Most of those people were old, but some of them were younger. Some seemed to be missed by a long list of people, while others had barely a few names. He liked to try and find out what kind of life they had lead, and how they had died.

But now, it was his own life and death he was reading about. He cut the article and kept it preciously in his wallet. He got a full report of his funeral by Mycroft. He couldn't help rolling his eyes at the pathetic tributes some people had paid him. Hypocrites, who had always despised him and were suddenly praising him to the skies. But he also knew that some of the tears spent on that day had been real.

At first, the idea of being dead to the world had been rather amusing. Unfortunately, some bad news came from London. He had hoped that the arrest of Moriarty's gang would allow him to come back quickly, but unfortunately, Moran and a few other highly dangerous members had escaped before the police's arrival. If the general public seemed convinced with the official version of the events, he knew that Moriarty's men wouldn't give up so easily. His body had never been found and they were eager to get revenge. This meant Sherlock would have to wait for months, maybe years before all of them were caught.

He was brutally confronted with the void of his new existence. A house, a name, a job, a friend, he didn't have any of this anymore. He also couldn't take the risk of staying at a same place for too long. He had to move quick and far in order to avoid suspicions. Mycroft provided him with a new passport. He was now Peter Sigerson, Norwegian citizen. He also gave him a secured e-mail address and access to a bank account which would be regularly provisioned.

Before leaving, Sherlock left instructions concerning his money. Mycroft had inherited of a fund at their father's death, and had always been generous with his brother. It was clearly not for financial reasons that he had been looking for a flatmate. He asked him to keep paying for his Baker Street flat to that John could stay there as long as he wanted. He also gave his friend a large amount of money and indicated that he would pay for all the fees associated with Molly's pregnancy. He owned her that at least.

He boarded a cargo ship from Naples, heading to Singapore. He had once learnt about marine knots for a case, which turned out to be very useful. The crossing took over one month and didn't exactly go smoothly. Physical work had the advantage of keeping his mind relatively at rest. But as soon as he was trying to sleep, he was assaulted by nightmares. Reichenbach was almost always involved. Sometimes he could see himself falling into the abyss, while Moriarty was standing on the cliff, laughing at him. Other times, he was clinging to a rock, suspended over the falls. He could see John trying to help him but he couldn't catch his hand, while his nemesis was calling from above the raging waters, begging him to join him. He woke up many times sweating, but hopefully there was no one to witness his tears.

He arrived in Asia in the beginning of July. He moved from Singapore to Malaysia, then to Cambodia, Vietnam and Thailand, without any particular purpose. After a while, all the cities and temples started to look like each other and the monsoon weather was exhausting. Many times he was about to call John, even pretending that he had dialed the wrong number, just to hear the sound of his voice. But he knew that it would have put both of them in danger.

He had learnt from Mycroft that the doctor had now left the 221b, he was moving on. Molly was doing better as well, she was expecting a girl. He started to realise how much he missed them, even his brother, even Moriarty. He had been a twisted bastard for sure, but he had at least the gift of keeping him entertained. Now, the whole world was dull. The lack of intellectual stimulation was slowly killing him and it was more painful than Moran's bullets. He was often tempted to buy cocaine, but Mycroft had warned him that the Thai authorities were particularly harsh with foreign drug users. And the British government wasn't inclined to save him from a life sentence in one of Bangkok's jail. So he kept on moving.

Finally, he found salvation in Tibet.

He had never been a spiritual man and would rather be suspicious towards all religions, but an encounter with a Buddhist master made him reconsider his views. The man could speak English, and his conversation was fascinating. Sherlock asked many questions and found answers to interrogations he didn't even know he had before. When asked about his job, he explained that it consisted in finding out about other people's life and cracking mysteries. The master replied that he first needed to crack the mystery of his own life.

He was left with a lot of time to think. But this time it wasn't about clues or criminals. It was about himself. People often believed he was incapable of emotions and he liked to call himself a high functioning sociopath. However he knew that the diagnostic was incorrect. He was probably closer to Asperger autism. He definitely had feelings, but he didn't know what to do with them so he had locked them away. He wished that he could be able to delete them completely, as he pretended to, but in fact they had only accumulated over the years. All those things that had hurt.

It is often said that ignorance is bliss. Sherlock's innocence didn't last long. He was a child that knew too much for his own good. He remembered his father's reproachful looks, Mycroft's betrayal and the guilt after his parent's divorce. The lonely years of high school, followed by the painful ones of university. The murmurs and the laughs behind his back. His father's funeral which he had refused to attend.

The drugs had given him relief for a while. But in the end they only brought more pain. His family found out and tried to make him stop. He quitted his studies, stayed at his brother's for a while then ran away. He had known the permanent craving, the dodgy flats and squats, the bad encounters. There had been that time where he didn't have money anymore and a man offered him free coke for sex. He didn't have the strength to refuse, so he had just closed his eyes. Cocaine and morphine was a deadly mix, and sometimes he wished that he wouldn't wake up. But it didn't happen.

He had managed to escape his brother's surveillance for almost six months but it was finally the police who found him. He got himself arrested during a routine drug bust. Sergeant Lestrade wondered how such an intelligent young man could have sunk so low. He seemed to have an interest for crime and investigation. Apparently, he had tried to draw Scotland Yard's attention to the mysterious death of a boy during a swimming competition when he was only 13.

So he offered Sherlock a deal. He if got himself clean, he would give him some cold cases to study. And it worked, better than any rehab clinic. It was a long and difficult process, but the work was a revelation. He would be a detective, consulting detective, the only one in the world.

There certainly had been some good things in his life as well. His job of course, but not only. His mother, who had always supported him, even when he caused her terrible worry. John, who was the most loyal friend a man could ever count on. And Molly.

He had caught himself thinking about her more and more often. Molly, who had told her she loved him. At first it had been only a game, another experiment. She had been a temporary replacement for John while he was in the hospital. Well, except that he didn't slept with John. She had opened him her door, and her bed. She had made him feel better when he needed to. And somehow, with her quiet manners and her shy eyes, she had found a way into his heart. The same one Moriarty had threatened to burn.

Did he love her back ? Probably not. He liked to sneer at John's romantic aspirations and his dates. There was no place or time for romance in Sherlock's life. He thought that sex was an enjoyable activity (well except _that_ time) but he could also easily do without it. She seemed to be satisfied with this "no strings attached" relationship and it suited him as well. But she became pregnant, and Moriarty came back. It changed everything. He couldn't take the risk of involving her again in this battle. So he pushed her away, and broke her heart.

But now, in the cold Himalayan nights, he wished that she was there to keep him warm. He would pass his hand in her long hair as he liked to. Maybe he had felt something for her after all.

And there was her baby. He always called it "her baby" because he still didn't realise it was actually his. But in less than one month, he would be a father. That should never had happened. However, he knew that Molly would refuse to abort. She was the kind of women who dreamt of babies from age sixteen. And she would make a good mother. Fathers were useless anyway. He only worried about genetics. The world had already enough dysfunctional geniuses with Mycroft and himself.

^/^

In total, he spent almost one year in Tibet. It had been not only a safe hiding place, but also a regenerating experience.

At the monastery, he started practising meditation which turned out to be an efficient remedy against boredom and anxiety. He also learned yoga and various martial arts. In exchange, he taught some English to the monks and villagers. To his surprise, he was particularly popular amongst children. Maybe because under many of aspects, he was still such a child himself. He performed a couple of magic tricks which had a lot of success. He also found a weird music instrument that looked a bit like a violin and started playing it.

One day of November, he got an e-mail from his brother with those words only: "Audrey, 7 pounds 8 ounces. Mother and child are doing well." There was a picture as well, of Mycroft awkwardly holding a crying baby girl in his arms. Sherlock couldn't help grinning.

Months after months, he received pictures of a little girl who had silver blue eyes which looked so much like his. He looked at them with curiosity, and it amused him greatly to imagine his brother as a doting uncle. He learnt that Molly and John were now dating, and later that they were engaged. He hadn't seen that one coming honestly. Molly had never paid John any attention when he was around. He guessed he should be happy for them. John would be a reliable husband and a good father.

Yet, he was feeling a hint of jealousy. Maybe he had hoped to remain irreplaceable in the heart of Molly Hooper ? Now if he came back one day, things would never be the same. John and Molly would be happy on their own. Would they even remember him ? He would be a complete stranger for his daughter. Maybe he could have tried to be a father after all. A better one than his own dad, which wasn't really difficult. But it was useless to think about it when he was 5000 miles away.

Finally, he decided to move again. There wasn't much improvement on the hunt for Moriarty's men. And not much he could do about it without blowing out his cover. He knew that Mycroft was working on it, but things would still take some time. His brother offered him a job for the government in the Middle East, which he accepted. But before that he travelled for several months in India where he met with Dalaï Lama in Dharamsala.

^/^

He now had a diplomatic passport and was on a non-official mission for the foreign office. In fact, the job also implied a lot spying and he was sending some detailed reports to the MI5. It was a dangerous adventure which took him to Iran, Saudi Arabia and Sudan. He got himself a nasty cut on the chin during a saber duel in Khartoum, and was nearly poisoned in two other occasions. But it was the closest thing to detective work that he had done in almost two years and it felt good.

When he learnt that his second most dangerous enemy had finally been captured in Buenos Aires, he decided to come back to Europe. England was still out of question, so he settled in the south of France. He worked in a lab in Montpellier where he conducted some research about coal-tar derivatives. Sherlock's grandmother was French and in his youth he had spent some summers at her home in Normandy. He could speak French without accent and would sometimes use that language with his mother, since his dad couldn't understand it.

It felt weird being so close to London, but still so far at the same time. Mycroft came to visit. For the first time in almost twenty years, he was truly happy to see his brother. Even if he didn't tell him. They had a long conversation, Sherlock wanting to catch up with everything that had happened in his absence. He didn't dare to ask too much about Audrey, but Mycroft had brought him new pictures. She was two years old now, she could walk and talk. And Molly just had another baby, a boy this time. John had informed Mycroft of his decision to start an adoption procedure for Audrey. Mycroft asked Sherlock if he should do anything to prevent it, but he said no. He had no rights on this baby, morally at least. He hadn't been there for her steps or her first words, while John had. And it could still be a very long time before he had the occasion to ever see her.

Another six months passed. He was getting bored and started smoking again. Then, an unexpected news arrived. The net was closing around Moran, Lestrade and his men had a very serious lead about his possible whereabouts. He didn't hesitated and two days later, he was in London. It had been almost exactly three years since he had left.

^/^

Now he was seated in his armchair, like in the good old days. It was one of the only things which hadn't changed. His flat, and Mrs Hudson gently scolding him about the mess. The other seat, with the Union Jack cushion, was empty. It used to be John's. He had been relieved by his friend's welcome. For sure he had never forgotten him. He hoped that soon they would be working together again, but the time where they were flatmates was gone for good.

He was waiting for a visitor, Molly. It had been a month since she had learnt about his come back, but so far she had categorically refused to meet him. He would tease John about his incapacity to talk to his wife, but he was honestly worried. Apparently, the scars from their last encounter were still vivid. He would have to tell her truth if he wanted to gain her trust back. Without saying too much of course. From what he heard from John, he had the feeling that their couple wasn't at his best since the news of his return. And it wasn't his intention to break them up. He hoped he would find the courage to ask her about Audrey.

He looked at his watch. Quarter to five, he still had fifteen minutes to wait. He closed his eyes and thought about the white mountains of Tibet. They always made him feel better.

^/^

_**I'm really sorry for not updating sooner. But a lot of things kept me from writing, so I had my own "mini hiatus". I had almost finished the Sherlock/Molly encounter, but suddenly I had an inspiration for something else so I completely changed my plans. It had been a long time since I wanted to write a chapter from Sherlock's point of view but I couldn't find the right moment. I hope you'll like it. **_

_**The good news is that the next chapter is almost ready, so the wait shouldn't be too long. Flashback is over so we will come back to the main storyline.**_

_**Reviews would make my day !**_


	6. Hello Mrs Watson

**Chapter 6**

The following afternoon, Molly was standing in front of 221B. The memories of her last encounter with Sherlock had kept her awake almost all night. But it was too late to back out. She rang at the door, and was relieved to be greeted by the familiar face of Mrs Hudson.

"Oh Molly dear, it's you! Finally! Come in, come in. It's a long time I haven't seen you."

"Yes, I know. It's good to see you too".

"Sherlock is upstairs; he told me you were coming. I cleaned a little bit, because he already managed to make such a mess! He brought back all those stuff from abroad, you have no idea! What a story… He almost gave me a heart attack. But I'm so happy to have him back… You must be excited to see him! You didn't bring Audrey?"

"No, it's…a bit early."

"Oh I understand. Well I let you go, he's waiting for sure."

She took a deep breath and climbed the well-known seventeen steps that led to the first floor. She tried to collect her thoughts one last time, mentally reviewing the lines she had prepared. It would be totally different than three years ago, she was stronger and she was married, thank you very much. But before she even had the time to knock, the door opened and the tall silhouette the detective appeared. God he almost hadn't changed: impeccable suit, black curls, insolently handsome… _No, no, no, she couldn't think of that. _She tried to keep her jaw closed, and her face impassive.

"Hello Mrs Watson", he said with a smile. "You changed your hair?"

He didn't have the time to avoid the hand that smacked hard on his face.

"Well", he said rubbing his slightly red cheek, "I guess that was to be expected". He seemed to hesitate for a moment, then regained his composure. "Will you please come in?"

While she walked through the door, Sherlock shouted from the staircase: "Mrs Hudson! We will need some tea!"

Then he followed Molly into the living room and told her "This is the moment where she normally shouts back not your housekeeper! But she indulges me since I came back."

"And you take advantage of it", she replied.

He grinned in answer, but there had been no humor in Molly's tone. He took off a pile of newspaper from an armchair so that she could sit, and took the opposite one for himself.

She could see he was trying to be nice. In other circumstances it could have been almost touching. But even if she felt a bit guilty, he had well deserved the slap. Actually it had felt delicious to see him looking completely lost for a quarter of a second, and to release the anger she had kept inside for all this time.

She decided not to take the seat.

"I prefer to stand. I don't have much time so, what do you want?", she asked coldly.

"I wanted to see you…"

"Well here I am, can I go now?"

"Molly don't be childish…"

"Childish? That is rather amusing coming from you" she said with a bitter smile. "Well I'm all ears. What is it you want to tell me?"

He took his head in hands, shaking his curls like she had seen him do many times in the past. "I'm sorry. Is that what you want to hear? I'm sorry… for the pain I caused you. But, it's the past isn't it? I'm back and to be honest I'm… quite surprised you're not even curious to see me? After all this time."

"Oh…. I see" replied Molly. "So the great Sherlock Holmes is disappointed because everybody didn't fly into his arms at his return. You disappear for 3 years, making everybody think you're dead. You spend your time travelling around the world while we're here grieving and feeling guilty. And now you come back with a smile, like if nothing happened, and tell us it was some kind of sick joke!"

"Molly…", he tried to interrupt.

"No, for one time in your life, you're going to shut up and listen. The world didn't stop spinning because you were gone. We all followed our paths. I have a life that I love and I won't let you take it apart. You think you just have to snap your fingers and John will leave his job just because you say so? It's always so easy for you! But he can't, he has a family to take care of. HE was there to raise the child YOU left behind because you just didn't give a damn ! Because you're still the same bloody arrogant bastard!"

She stopped feeling both stupid and relieved. He had listened to her calmly, not even flitching. But his initial good spirit was gone. His eyes were cold, the Sherlock she knew was back. She suddenly wanted to leave.

"Are you done?", he simply asked.

"Yes, enjoy your tea", replied Molly, heading for the door.

"You really think I had it easy?" said the voice from behind her. She froze but didn't turn back.

He continued. "Oh yes, let me remember, that was a lovely vacation. Hiding for three years with Moriarty's men on my track. Not being able to use my own name, to trust anyone, having to change places all the time. Not knowing if would be able to come back one day? Letting my own mother think I was DEAD? You think that was fun? Don't you realise I did that to protect you all? I know I will never get my old life back. That one was gone the moment I left London. But I am here, and if I want to see John, I'll see John."

He stepped on the table to cross the room and grabbed Molly by the shoulders. "What are you afraid of? You think you are going to keep your husband by locking him up? Let me tell you one thing, continue this way and I don't give six months to your marriage. But maybe this is what you want? Oh and by the way if you are so perfectly happy then why do still go on my grave?"

_How could he possibly know that? _Well he always knew everything.

"Yes I go there", answered Molly. "I even talk to you. Because after a while you start remembering only the good things about people. I had forgiven you, Sherlock. I was at peace with all that. But… how are we supposed to trust you ever again after all those lies? I'm not even sure that Moriarty is dead anymore!"

"I can assure you he is. I saw him fall, and after three years I still can't get this horrible scream out of my head. It was close for me too on that day. But from what I get you would have preferred that option, since you're doing so much better without me."

A shadow passed over his face, and for one instant she saw something in his eyes that broke her heart. It was not the usual puppy eyes he used to do when he needed something from Bart's. No, it almost looked like a genuine emotion, something she hadn't thought him capable of. Maybe she had been too harsh?

"It's not what I meant… Of course I'm glad you're alive. But… it's not easy. I've been through a lot too. I need some time to accept the whole thing."

"Fine", he said.

She wondered if she should leave. It was enough for a first meeting and she hoped this would satisfy John for the time being. But a question kept coming back in her mind. She knew it was a dangerous subject but she wouldn't find peace otherwise. This time she looked at him right in the eyes. Those beautiful blue eyes, Audrey's.

"There is this something I need to know. Because I've been thinking about it over and over again. If I had told you, before you left… that I was pregnant. Would it have changed anything?

"Molly…", he shook his head. " I knew."

"I'm sorry?"

"I knew you were pregnant. Maybe before you did yourself."

"What? You knew and you told me those horrible things? What are you? A monster?". She felt her tears coming up. She wanted to run but it was like the ground was giving way beneath her feet.

"It was the only way to push you away", pleaded Sherlock.

"But why? You could have talked to me!"

"Do you realise what would have happened if Moriarty had found out? You would have become his number one target. That last day when… you came here, it was a huge risk. I had to make you leave, quickly. Also I knew there were little chances I would come back alive. So I thought it would be easier for you to move on if I left such a… poor impression. And I was right. I told you before, but domestic bliss does suit you."

His words were slowly processing through her mind, leaving her almost numb. She felt like an old wound was finally being healed. It had been in that same living room, three years ago. And his words had cut like a knife.

"So…" she stuttered, "what you said, you, you didn't mean it?"

"No", he simply replied.

"Oh god…if I…" She stood speechless, almost in shock. So many contradictory feelings were going through her head. All her well prepared lines had vanished. Sherlock had lied. This meant he might have had feelings for her. Three years ago it would have made her the happiest woman in the world. But now she was married. Maybe she had a made a mistake? Maybe she should have waited for him? She felt horrible for only asking herself the question. Of course she couldn't have waited for him, he was dead. Well, actually he was alive. But she loved John, didn't she?

"Look at me", said Sherlock, like he had been reading her mind. "Molly look at me. You really don't have anything to regret, believe me. You couldn't have made a better choice with John. I can tell you he loves you. And I'm happy to see that your taste in men has finally improved. Don't throw everything away for someone who is not worth it."

The tears came back. She instinctively buried her head in his chest and he let her do so. They stayed like that for a moment, in silence. She knew he was right. John was the best thing that had happened to her, with her children. She wouldn't trade that for anything in the world, not even Sherlock Holmes. So far she had only been able to love him or to hate him. But there had to be a way in between, right?

They heard Mrs Hudson steps coming from the stairs and he pulled out the embrace.

"Will you stay for tea?"

She nodded.

"And dry those tears, what is she going to think?"

^/^

They settled for tea, and this time she agreed to sit down.

"So... are you back to work?", said Molly, trying to start some sort of conversation.

"Yes. I've got a few cases going on. Quite elementary, but it's a beginning."

"Well don't expect any favor at the mortuary, I don't work there anymore. And my replacement is a boring old man, so I doubt he'll be sensible to your charm."

"That remains to be seen…"

She smiled, blowing on her tea to cool it down.

Sherlock took a sip, then cleared his voice.

"I wanted to ask you concerning… Audrey", he started a bit embarrassed.

"Oh, it's fine you really don't have to take care of anything. Mycroft already gave us far too much money it's embarrassing."

"No actually, I… I saw her the other day."

Molly put her cup down in surprise.

"What ? When ?"

"I saw you at the park, I knew you were going there. She… she has grown up."

"Oh… Yes, she's tall for her age."

"John told me… she is doing well?"

It was always striking how he could lose his usual eloquence when he was out of his comfort zone.

"Yes, she's doing great. And she's a big sister now."

"Good"

He paused, but she could tell there was something else he wanted to say.

"I'll be honest, I never wanted children. Not that I dislike them, actually their thinking process is quite refreshing. But I thought it was not for me. I knew it would have been useless to talk you into getting an abortion. I though you would do well without me, and you did. But… I had a lot of time to think it over. And… I mean… if you agree, I think I would like spend some time with her."

Molly was clearly taken aback by his request. She knew the subject would have come up at some point, but she didn't expect Sherlock to show any interest for fatherhood.

"I don't know… It's complicated. You see, she already has a father. I don't want to confuse her."

He looked down, clearly disappointed. Then he tried again. "You won't be able to hide it forever. She will find out one day or another."

Molly bit her lip, remembering Audrey's interrogations about Mycroft.

"Oh wait, she has already started to ask questions, right?"

"She is smart… We were planning to tell her about you of course, but she's still so young."

"Children have imagination. I'm sure I can come up with a convincing story."

"Oh I don't doubt that. I just hope this isn't one of your experiments, right ? Because, if I let you see Audrey, if I explain her who you are, then… it's for life. It's not something you'll be able to give up just because you get bored of it. If she gets attached to you, and then you disappear, it would be terrible. It's a responsibility, you understand?"

"Of course I understand", he said very seriously. "I would never do that, trust me".

"I don't know…" she sighed, "but she'll probably blame me later if I say no. So I guess it's a yes."

"Thank you", said Sherlock.

Molly noticed she had never seen him looking so happy before.

"What would you say about coming for lunch on Sunday?"

"Sunday is good."

"Fine. Then I have five days to prepare myself psychologically", said Molly, already asking herself if she wasn't going to regret it. But maybe John was right, it would be far less damageable to tell Audrey the truth now than in a few years. She just hoped that Sherlock wouldn't ruin everything.

"And if… you want to make a good first impression", she added, "I suggest you take a trip to the toy department. She likes Pet Shop and Disney Princess."

"What is that?", he asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Ask your brother, he has become quite an expert."

"Sounds fascinating."

She couldn't help but smile. "Yes, I'm sure you're going to love it! I'd better go now, I have two little monsters waiting at home."

He walked her back to the door, and they stood there awkwardly, not knowing how to say goodbye. Finally, Molly gave him a hug and said: "I'm sorry about what I said earlier. It's good to have you back."

"See you on Sunday."

He watched her go down the stairs. As she was about halfway, she turned back to tell him: "Oh… and about John. You two can resume your…partnership. But I warn you, if anything happens to him, I'll kill you myself. And for real this time."

^/^

_**Again many thanks for your reviews! It's a great encouragement. I'm sorry if there are a few mistakes since English is not my first language. We will have more Audrey soon, actually as she grow up she will become one of the major characters ^^.**_


	7. A very lucky girl

**Chapter 7**

_**OK… first sorry for the long wait ! I've been very busy lately, which doesn't mean I forgot about this story. But it took me a long time to write. Many thanks for your kind messages. I hope you enjoy this new chapter in which father and daughter are finally reunited ;-)**_

The day before Sherlock's visit, Molly had finally decided to talk to Audrey. After making sure that baby Jack was soundly asleep, she and John went to find their daughter in her room, where she had been playing all afternoon. Molly felt bad interrupting her, but she had already postponed the moment too many times. John gently squeezed her hand to give her confidence before she opened the door.

"Audrey?", she called softly.

Audrey turned her head, and Molly saw that her face was covered with all sorts of colors.

"God, what's going on here?", she said entering the room.

"Doing make up!", replied Audrey with a big smile.

She was seated on the floor, on which all the content of Molly's beauty bag had been spilled. It seemed that the little girl had been enthusiastically testing all different shades of lipsticks and eye shadows. The result was not particularly esthetic but undeniably hilarious. But Molly, already nervous about the situation, wasn't exactly in a laughing mood.

"This is Mummy's make up, how did you even find it?", she asked, starting to clean up the mess. "God, it's all over your face, I think it's time for your bath."

"Noooo !", protested the little girl.

"Maybe it can wait a little bit", said John from behind. He exchanged a look with his wife, reminding her of why they had come here in the first place. Molly nodded silently.

"Come here Princess", said John picking up Audrey in his arms. He sat on her bed, holding her in his lap. "You really look like a clown you know".

"Clown!", she repeated, giggling.

Molly seated next to them, feeling a little more relaxed now that John had taken charge of things.

"So…" he started, "Mummy and Daddy want to talk to you a little bit. It's important so I want you to listen really good, ok?"

"Mummy will have another baby?", questioned Audrey.

John couldn't help laughing.

Molly repressed her ownchuckle. "No honey, not anytime soon", she replied with a smile. She took the opportunity to proceed: "Audrey, you… you remember when you asked if Uncle Mycroft was my brother or daddy's brother?"

"Yes"

"Well… actually Uncle Mycroft has a brother."

Audrey's eyes widened in surprise. "Who ?"

"His name is Sherlock, and you're going to see him tomorrow."

"She-lock ?", tried Audrey hesitantly.

"Yes, Sherlock", said John.

" I have two uncles ?"

"Well… in fact Sherlock is not you uncle."

"Why ?"

John knew it was the moment and didn't hesitate. "Because… you're a very lucky girl, and you actually have two daddies. Sherlock is your daddy, just like me."

A silence followed. John was waiting for an answer, while Molly was holding her breath.

Audrey was calm but looked a little puzzled.

"Really?", she asked, looking at her mom.

"Yes honey, it's true", said Molly, gently stroking her hair.

"I don't know him".

"Because he was leaving far far away. But now he's back here with us, and he really wants to meet you", said John.

Molly added: "Sherlock is coming to have lunch with us tomorrow. You're going to very nice ok?"

"I can wear my pink dress ?"

This time, Molly honestly laughed. "Yes, you can wear your pink dress. But you don't want to look like a little monkey, so now you're going to take your bath."

John put her down on the floor. "Yes, bathroom now !", he commanded, clapping his hands.

This time Audrey didn't complain and ran outside the room.

John sighed, "I wish I was still that age and everything was so easy."

"Well, the embarrassing questions will come later", replied Molly.

"It's going to be all fine", murmured John.

"I worry about Sherlock", she said.

"I've talked with him, I think he's ready."

"Mummmy !" yelled Audrey from the bathroom.

"Well I think she's ready as well."

^/^

Sherlock was late. Molly was getting stressed about her cooking, Audrey had been insufferable all morning and Jack was crying because of his first tooth. John seemed to be the only one able to keep his calm. However, he was somehow worried that Sherlock might have changed his mind on one of his mood swings.

He was relieved when the doorbell finally rang at half past noon.

Molly took off her apron, quickly checked herself in the mirror and went to open the door.

"You're late!", she said.

"Traffic", he replied, "Oh and by the way hello."

"Hello", said Molly softening a little bit.

She was surprised to see that he was wearing black jeans and a white shirt. She had rarely seen him dressed so casual. Maybe he had though that his usual look would be too intimidating? Molly also noticed that he was carrying two large bags from Hamleys.

"What is all that?" she whispered. "I told you one toy, not to buy the whole store!"

"Let's say it's for three Christmas and two birthdays", he said, stepping into the room.

"Good to see you", greeted John who was carrying his son. "So… as you may have deduced this is Jack. And, the pretty girl in the pink dress who's hiding behind me is Audrey."

Audrey was holding her father's leg, while giving hesitant glances at the guest.

"Come on !", said John, "Say hello".

"She can get a bit shy when she doesn't know people, but it never lasts long", commented Molly.

John tried again: "You're missing something, there are plenty of presents waiting for you."

This time her curiosity was too strong and she took a step forward.

"Sherlock, this is Audrey", said Molly.

The detective coughed nervously, "Hello Audrey". He put the bags down and gestured at them, "This… is for you".

Molly's heart tightened slightly as the two pairs of blue eyes looked at each other for the first time.

"Can you say hello to Sherlock?", she asked Audrey.

"Hello."

The little girl's attention was now fixed on the bags.

"You can open one before lunch, but that's all", advised her mother.

^/^

Molly had served an aperitif at the living room table. John and Sherlock were evoking old memories around her glass of port wine. But Molly noticed that Sherlock was distracted. He wouldn't stop looking at his daughter, almost with fascination. Audrey was seated close to them, playing with her brand new "Pet Shop Hospital". She also kept giving glances at the adults, especially Sherlock.

When time had come to sit down for lunch, Audrey came to ask something to her mother. Molly looked at Sherlock with a smile, then back to Audrey.

"What don't you ask him yourself?"

The little girl shook her head.

"What is it?" asked Sherlock.

"She wants to know if she can seat next to you", said Molly.

"Oh… well, yes of course."

"Great, we'll just change the seats then."

Sherlock, who wasn't on a case, was for once eating with appetite. He even complimented Molly on her cooking:

"It's delicious, congratulations. No wonder John has put up some weight".

"Sherlock!" complained John.

"What? Isn't it the truth? About 9.9 pounds to be exact."

John rolled his eyes but didn't contest the information.

"Well it seems that not everybody is enjoying its meal", said Molly, staring at Audrey.

Audrey looked back at her with innocent eyes.

"Oh don't look at me like that, I know you're hiding the peas under your plate."

Sherlock grinned. He had been observing her stratagem for a while.

"I don't like greens…", she whined.

"Then eat at least the meat…", sighed Molly. "She's so fussy about food. She only likes sweets."

"Sounds like she took the worst out of Mycroft and I", said Sherlock. He seemed to be thinking for a minute, then leaned toward Audrey and whispered something in her ear.

Audrey smiled at him with a giggle, then took her fork and brought a small bite of roast beef to her mouth.

Molly and John watched the scene in amazement.

"How did you… ?" started Molly, but she didn't finish her sentence, not wanting to break the spell.

The rest of the meal went on smoothly. After dessert, Audrey went to her room to open her other presents.

Molly asked Sherlock if he wanted some coffee.

"Black, two sugars if I remember?"

"Actually it's only one now."

"Oh. I guess everything changes."

She went to the kitchen, leaving the two men alone.

"So, what do you think?" asked John.

"I… I don't know if I can do it", answered Sherlock.

"What ?"

He passed a hand through his curls and sighed. "She seems very happy… I don't want to screw everything up."

"Are you serious? You did fantastic, and I can tell she already adores you."

"That's the problem. Molly was right, it's a responsibility. And I'm hardly a role model."

"You can be one. I don't get it, what happened to your over dimensioned ego?".

Sherlock looked away, avoiding his friend's gaze.

"Oh, I see", said John. "This is about your father, right?"

Sherlock gave him an accusatory look.

"Mycroft told me."

"Of course he did", muttered Sherlock.

"Look, your dad wasn't perfect, neither was mine. But it doesn't mean you have to do the same mistakes. And I'm sure you won't. Being a parent is hard, it didn't come to me overnight and I'm still learning every day. But if you give it a try, I promise you it is the most rewarding experience. Better than your work."

They were interrupted by Molly coming back with the coffees.

Audrey also ran into the room. "Mummy! Look what I got!", she exclaimed, showing her a red hair doll. "It's Ariel! The Mermaid!." There was a radiant smile on her face.

"You've been really spoilt", said John. "Come here and give a kiss to Sherlock".

She hesitated one instant, then came to place a peck on the detective's cheek.

"And what do you say now?", added John.

"Thank you!"

The doctor saw a glimpse of emotion passing through his friend's eyes.

"I want to see the movie!", said Audrey.

"Which movie?", asked John.

"Little Mermaid."

"How many times have you seen it? Twenty?"

"Please !"

"Why don't you watch it with Sherlock? I'm sure he hasn't seen it yet", suggested Molly, clearly amused by the situation.

"I didn't", confirmed Sherlock.

"Show him the TV, he will put the DVD for you."

^/^

"It's under the sea. They all live there."

"Yes, there are actually… plenty of people."

"Mermaiiiids !", shouted Audrey enthusiastly.

"Mermaids… and is that a… talking crab?"

Sherlock was carefully trying to follow the plot, which seems to be taking him much more effort than any of his usual puzzles or cryptograms. Hopefully, Audrey was there to comment every scene in case he had failed to understand its subtleties.

"I went to the sea the other day", she started, "I saw a crab".

"A crab? That's… interesting."

"Yes. Did you go to the sea?"

"I've spent plenty of time on the sea. I've crossed the entire ocean on a boat."

"Really?", asked the little girl, obviously impressed.

"Yes."

"Did you see Nemo ?"

"Who is Nemo?", asked Sherlock, rising an eyebrow.

"He's a fish, he had lost his dad!"

"Well, I saw a lot of fishes, but I didn't think to ask their names."

"Oh", she answered, a bit disappointed. "Where is your home?"

Sherlock mentally registered the amazing capacity of children to jump from subject to another with absolutely no connection. Then he answered:

"In London, like you. On Baker Street."

"You make bread?"

"No", he laughed, "I'm a detective."

"What is it?"

"It's… someone who investigates on mysteries and…". He tried to search for a more appropriate vocabulary, "… and who goes after bad guys."

"Like the police?"

"A little bit. But contrary to them I'm trying to use my brain", he said, pointing at his head.

"Are you smart like Uncle Mycroft? He's super smart!"

"I'm pretty smart. I think Mycroft might be even smarter, but don't tell him. It's a secret. I'm a much better detective though."

"You don't look like him."

"It's true. He's my brother but we don't look really look like each other. You... look a little bit like me, you know?"

"You're my dad?"

"Yes… yes I am."

"I can call you daddy?"

"I think it's better if you keep daddy for your… other daddy. Maybe we can find another name", said Sherlock with a wink.

"What name?"

"Hum… well you could say Papa. It means daddy in French, which is another language. I'm one quarter French, so you that makes you one-eighth French. Can you say it? Papa?"

"Pa Pa", tried Audrey hesitantly.

"That's it, you see. It's easy."

"Papa", she said again, giggling.

Sherlock understood what John had meant earlier. He had never imagined a single word could make him feel that way.

^/^

Molly was observing the scene from the kitchen, still incredulous. Audrey had dozed off on the sofa, and Sherlock was seated next to her with Toby on his lap. The movie was over, but it seemed like he didn't dare to move anymore. John came to join her, gently passing his arms around her hips.

"I cannot believe it", she whispered.

"You see, there was no need to worry."

"Yes… Are you sure that… you're ok with this?"

"With what?"

"With… I mean you adopted Audrey, she's you're daughter."

"She's his daughter as well."

"But…"

"I'm not jealous", he interrupted. "I think it's good for her, and it's good for Sherlock too. It doesn't change anything for us, it's like… a bonus."

Molly turned around to face John, passing her arms around his neck.

"How can you be so wonderful? Are you even real?"

"You want me to prove you?" he asked, then placed her gentle kiss on her lips.

She smiled and gave him an apologetic look. "I'm sorry for… the past weeks. I know I've been a pain."

"No. I'm the one who should apologise, I haven't been fair with you. Do you forgive me?"

"Of course", said Molly

They kissed again, realising how much they had missed each other.

"Actually…",John murmured into his wife's ear, "… now that we have such an efficient babysitter… What do you think about having another baby?"

"I think you're dreaming John Watson."


	8. World's Greatest Dad

**Chapter 8**

Between Audrey and Sherlock, it was what could be called love at first sight. The little girl adored this eccentric dad who always had incredible stories to tell her. And Sherlock prove everybody wrong, starting with himself, by being a responsible and attentive father. Even when busy on a case, he would call every night to ask her about her day. And on Sundays he would agree to endure the lunches at Mycroft's just to be with her.

The two brothers were actually getting along much better, even if Sherlock would deny it vehemently. Mycroft had been his only contact during his three years of wandering, which had helped drawing them closer. But they would still quarrel constantly because it was the only way they knew how to function.

Despite his good behavior, it took almost two years before Molly trusted Sherlock enough to let him taking care of Audrey by himself. At first, he would take her out on Saturdays afternoon only. Then, they agreed that Audrey could spend every other week end at Baker Street.

The first time, Molly panicked about being separated from "her baby". She lectured Sherlock endlessly about parenting do's and don'ts and was particularly clear about three rules: no body parts, no chemicals and no crime scenes. Sherlock had agreed about everything and worked hard to childproof his flat.

Audrey was excited when he came to pick her up at preschool. The evening went on smoothly, but when time had come to go to bed, Sherlock had to face an unexpected fit of tears. He was a bit disarmed, but a phone call to Molly and a hot chocolate brought by Mrs Hudson calmed the little girl. However, she refused to sleep in John's old bedroom which had been refurbished for the occasion because she was afraid to stay upstairs by herself. So Sherlock let her stay in his bed.

Sherlock never missed one of those week ends. On the contrary, he was waiting for them impatiently. If he was on a case, he would work extra hard during the week to wrap it up before Friday night. He even gave Lestrade a planning of the dates on which he shouldn't be solicited.

He liked taking her to the museum and helping her with her homework. With her, he rediscovered many things he had deleted from primary school. Audrey was a bright pupil but, to her dad's relief, she wasn't particularly precocious. However, she showed from an early age a great gift for drawing. Sherlock claimed it wasn't surprising since his grandmother's brother was a famous French painter, so "art in the blood" ran in the family.

Audrey succeeded where many had failed before. Because he had to take care of his daughter, Sherlock also started to take better care of himself. The bouts of depression he always had between cases were less and less frequent. In Audrey's eyes he was neither a freak nor a genius, he was just "papa", and it meant the world. For the first time in his life, he loved someone totally and unconditionally.

^/^

Everyone noticed the change in his personality and praised it. But Molly was the only one to remain slightly critical. First, she noticed that even if Sherlock obviously loved his daughter, he wasn't very good at expressing his feelings. This wasn't news to her, but it broke her heart when Audrey once asked why her papa never hugged her. She explained her that Sherlock didn't know how to do those things, because nobody ever showed him. So she would have to be the one teaching him.

From that day on, Sherlock suffered numerous "kisses attacks" and for father's day Audrey gave him a card with "I love you" written in pasta shells. The following year, John and him got the same "World's Greatest Dad" coffee mug. Sherlock placed his on the mantelpiece, replacing the skull which was now safely locked into his bedroom.

But the greatest problem Molly had with Sherlock was his inability to say "no". He had expensive tastes, and nothing was good enough for his little princess. He was a regular customer at "Baby Dior" and "Burberry Kids". Audrey had him wrapped around her finger and was taking full advantage of it. Molly even had to take away the cell phone he had bought for Audrey's sixth birthday, even if she sulked for one week afterwards.

One Sunday night coming back from Sherlock's, Audrey was all excited, claiming that her papa had got her a kitten. Molly was particularly angry, since she and John had told her no many times, explaining that she already had Toby. She decided to set the record straight the next time she saw him at Mycroft's.

"I can't believe you bought that kitten. Who's going to take care of it ?"

"Me?"

"Yes… you mean Mrs Hudson."

"Well that's my problem. Audrey loves it,that's all that matters."

"No it's not! You knew I was against it, and you did it anyway."

Sherlock sighed heavily. "Look it wasn't planned ok? We went to the park, she wanted to stop at this pet shop to look at the animals. I tried to say no for the kitten but…"

"But what? Oh, let me guess, she started rolling herself on the floor."

"More or less."

"So you said yes?"

"I didn't have a choice!"

"Of course, you had a choice! But you're just terrified to tell her no. Saying yes is so easy, but what you don't understand is that you're not helping her! What do you think is going to happen when she grow up?"

"I know but…"

Molly didn't let him finish: "Not to mention it's terribly unfair to John and I. Now she knows that if we say no about something, then she'll just have to ask you. You think it's a coincidence if she took you to a pet shop?"

Sherlock looked a little defeated.

"We can't take it back now, she's too attached", he said looking at Audrey who was playing with little Caesar.

"Of course we can't take it back", replied Molly. "But please try for next time. She won't stop loving you if that's what you're afraid of."

^/^

John though that Molly was being a bit hard on Sherlock. His friend was certainly being a bit excessive, but he was taking his new role very seriously. And most of all, he had finally learnt to open his heart.

What John didn't know, was that Molly's defensive attitude was a way for her to protect herself. Seeing Sherlock with Audrey made her heart melt more than once. The image was a vivid reminder of what life with him could have been. Dreams which had filled her nights many years before, when a dashing young man had stepped into her lab at Bart's. She had changed so much since that time, but the feelings were still there. She had learnt to live with them, because she would never leave John.

They had made this marriage work, even if they didn't always agree about everything. She knew he wanted another child, while she wanted to go back to work. And she was already busy enough with Audrey and Jack. She could already tell that the two of them would have quite opposite personalities. Jack was a quiet, easy going little boy with a perpetually cheery disposition. Audrey was slightly hyperactive, a bit of a trouble maker, but she also had a heart of gold.

Two different children, with two different fathers.

Two men that she loved.


	9. The girlfriend

**Chapter 9**

In this month of November, Audrey had celebrated her 11th birthday, and Molly and John Watson were discovering the joys of raising a pre-teenager. They were now used to slamming doors and sullen looks. John was generally the best at dealing with her growing attitude, but Molly had less patience. She was particularly exasperated by Sherlock's laxity which was anything but helpful. John liked to joke that Sherlock would only start worrying the day Audrey would bring him her first boyfriend.

She had spent the week end with Sherlock. When he came to bring her back on Sunday night, he exchanged a few words with John at the door but seemed to be in an hurry. Audrey went directly to her room and started chatting with her friends on MSN. Her parents had tried to restrain her use of the computer, but with little success so far. They couldn't complain about her grades, which were always excellent, but teachers would often mention her indiscipline.

That particular morning, John was in charge of getting the kids ready. Molly, who had started working again, had come back in the middle of the night. He cooked breakfast for everyone and tried to start a conversation with Audrey who was already glued to her phone.

"So, how was your week end ?", he asked cheerfully.

"Boring."

John couldn't help smirking. He had heard that word so many times in Sherlock's mouth.

"Boring ? That's surprising."

Audrey shrugged, and started texting, her bowl of cereals remaining untouched.

"What did you do?»

"Nothing."

John sighed, already tired of the usual monosyllabic answers.

"You spent two days with Sherlock and did nothing?»

"Nothing fun."

"We went to see a football game with dad and it was super fun", said Jack.

"I don't care. Football is boring anyway and we didn't ask you anything."

"You're jealous !"

"Not I'm not !"

"Wow, calm down both of you !", interrupted John. "You're going to wake up your mom."

"Why did she have to work late ?", asked Jack.

"Because she was working on a night shift", explained John.

"Because somebody died and she had to open up its cadaver", added Audrey.

"Audrey, we're eating right now!", complained her dad.

"What ? It's the truth?»

"I know", said Jack. "Dad is a doctor for sick people and Mom is a doctor for dead people."

"Pathologist...", corrected Audrey. "Dead people are already dead, they don't need a doctor".

"OK, it's a fascinating conversation but we were talking about your week end", said John. "Was Sherlock on a case?»

"No."

"So what's the problem? You always love going there."

"Why don't you ask him ?", she answered with a defiant look.

"Hey, I already told you not to talk back to me this way. Of course I'm going to ask him, but I'd like to hear from you first. I think what happened is that you did something bad and you don't want to talk about it."

"I didn't do anything ! He was the one who brought his stupid girlfriend !"

John was about to correct her language again, but his brain was too busy trying to process the information which had just hit him.

"You... you mean your papa got a girlfriend ?"

"Obviously!»

"Oh, that's the second warning! Be careful there won't be a third." There was a sudden silence in the room. John rarely raised his voice, but when he did it was with all the authority of the ex-military.

"What's going on here?", asked Molly, standing at the door frame in her pyjamas.

"See what you did", said John with an accusatory look.

"Sorry mum", answered both kids in unison.

Molly gave a kiss to each of them, and poured herself a cup of coffee.

"I didn't see you yesterday, how was your week end darling ?"

"Well, you just missed the big scoop", said John. "Audrey had the pleasure to meet with Sherlock's girlfriend."

Molly almost dropped her cup in surprise. "What ? Did you know about it ?"

"I had no idea, I just found out."

"And who is she?"

"I don't know, she's stupid", said Audrey.

"You already said that twice", replied John. "Don't you know any another adjective?"

Audrey sighed. "She's American and she's a singer or something."

"A singer? That's... interesting."

"Is she pretty?", asked Molly.

The question made John roll his eyes.

"She's ok."

"Well", said John, "I guess that means very pretty."

"Wait, was she there with you all week end ?", inquired Molly, sounding slightly irritated

"She came with us to the movie and the ice rink."

"Oh... so you so actually did something this week end !", exclaimed John.

"Ha ha, very funny", commented Audrey.

"You're the one who's not funny!", said Jack.

John clapped his hands to end the conversation. "It's almost half past seven, don't you two have to get ready for school?"

^/^

John and Molly were left alone in the kitchen, while another sibling fight was taking place to know who would get the bathroom first.

"I can't believe it!", said Molly still in disbelief.

"It's rather good news don't you think?"

"Good for him yes... but honestly I think it's completely disrespectful! I mean, he didn't even ask us if we were ok for her to meet Audrey.

"Molly..."

"What? We don't know anything about that woman, she could be anybody."

"If Sherlock chose to introduce her to Audrey, then it must me pretty serious."

"And you had never heard about her before?"

"OK it's strange, but not so surprising with Sherlock. He's never very talkative about those things. After all, I was sharing a flat with him at the time the two of you were... seeing each other and I never knew anything about it!»

Molly slightly blushed at the mention of her own affair with Sherlock. "Still, I think he should have asked our permission before."

"I agree. I'm going to give him a call today and try to find out about this mysterious lady."

"We don't even know her name", noticed Molly. "Audrey!", she called, "What's the name of Sherlock's girlfriend ?"

The answer came a few seconds later:

"Irene something".

_**~ Please read & review ! ~**_


	10. Irene

**Chapter 10**

"So... I heard that you had company this week end ?".

John had taken a break between visiting two patients to have lunch with Sherlock at Speedy's, with the intention of knowing more about his mysterious girlfriend.

"Audrey told you ?"

"Oh yes, and to be honest and she wasn't very enthusiastic about it."

"Hum, that's what I suspected."

"And neither was Molly."

"Molly ?", asked Sherlock raising an eyebrow.

"Yes, she thinks that... you should have talked to us before introducing her to Audrey. Honestly, you could at least have told me you were seeing someone."

"You weren't very available lately, and things went a bit fast. I though it was a good opportunity for Audrey to meet Irene, since we're going to live together."

"You're... moving in together ?"

"In Baker Street yes. She went to New York to sort out a few things and she's coming back next week."

"So… who is she ?"

"You remember that blackmail case I handled a few months ago ?"

"The sex tape thing ?"

"Yes, that one."

"Did you get it back after all ? I guess so, otherwise it would already be all over the internet."

"Well actually I didn't."

"You didn't ?"

"No. the girl was clever, very clever. I found the place where she was hiding it, but when I came back she was gone and so was the tape. All she left was a letter for my client, and a picture of her... for me. I failed John, she beat me you realize ?"

"Yes but..."

"She e-mailed me a few weeks after. We met again and..."

"Wait a minute, are you telling me you're dating the girl from the sex tape ?"

"Her name is Irene. Irene Adler."

"For god sake Sherlock, have you lost your mind ? She's a blackmailer!»

"Oh please you sound like my brother ! She wasn't going to make that tape public, she kept it only for her own safety. The ambassador was the only one to blame in that story. First he dumped her because she wasn't a suitable match, then he panicked and had her flat burgled several times. I don't even know why I took the case in the first place."

"Because it involved a potential international scandal ?"

"Bullshit. My client was very satisfied in the end, he knows she won't do anything against him."

"So you're interested in her because... she outwitted you ?"

"Not only. She's a beautiful smart woman, why shouldn't I be interested ? I don't understand, you're the one who's always telling that I should try to meet someone. Well, I met someone, aren't you happy ?"

"I'm very happy for you Sherlock. Just… surprised. But don't mention the sex tape part in front of Molly, otherwise I doubt she'll allow Audrey to visit you anytime soon."

"I'm not stupid. But I assure you she's a perfectly respectable woman."

"And when will we able to meet her ?"

"I guess we can plan that when she returns".

^/^

It was a high-end Thaï restaurant, Sherlock's choice. The kind of places Molly and John almost never went to. They preferred to go out with their family, but tonight Audrey and Jack were exceptionally staying at Anthea's. John was wearing his best jacket and Molly had changed outfit almost five times before settling for a classic little black dress. She was wearing the diamond earrings her husband gave her for their fifth anniversary. They arrived first and settled at the table where they were served some cocktails. Sherlock came in ten minutes later, holding hands with a gorgeous woman.

They were perfectly matched. Sherlock was wearing one of his four-figure suits and Irene looked stunning in a purple dress revealing her long tanned legs. She looked like she had just escaped from a fashion magazine. Her delicate features were enhanced by long brown hair and beautiful green eyes. She was in her early thirties, about ten years younger than Sherlock.

He made the introductions and Irene held out a manicured hand to Molly. "Good evening", she said with a slight American accent.

^/^

The conversation was flowing easily. Irene was very witty and talkative, and John made everybody laugh with stories of their funniest cases together.

"So, Irene, how do you like Baker Street?", asked the doctor ?

"Oh I love it! The location is fantastic. Of course the flat needs… more of the feminine touch", she said winking at Sherlock. "But I can take care of it. It will be even better when we have more space."

"More space?", asked Molly.

"Mrs Hudson plans to retire in Southern Spain within few months", explained Sherlock. "She has a nephew living over there and the climate is better for her hip. I made her an offer to buy the house."

"Sherlock said I could have my own recording studio in the basement !", said Irene.

"Audrey told us you were a singer ?", inquired John

"So far I've worked mainly as a model and an actress, but music is my true passion. I'm going to concentrate on it now, and if everything goes well I hope to release an album maybe next year."

"Fantastic !"

"She really has the most amazing voice", said Sherlock proudly.

"And you could accompany on the violin", suggested John.

"I know, but he refuses to play for me !"

"He can play really play when... he's in a good mood."

"I'm only an amateur", said Sherlock.

"What about you Molly?", asked Irene. "Sherlock told me you worked as a forensic pathologist. That must be fascinating. I never miss an episode of CSI !"

"It's a TV show, you know. Real life isn't actually that _fascinating_".

"But you do help solving some criminal cases?"

"I make autopsies and give the results to the police. Occasionally I let Sherlock have access to the lab which is totally illegal by the way."

"Molly is being modest, she was a great help in many occasions", praised Sherlock.

"And I sometimes give him body parts which he likes to store in his fridge."

Irene looked slightly disgusted.

"Used to", he corrected. "I don't do that anymore".

John kicked his wife under the table and gave her look which meant "_be nice"_.

She looked back at him innocently, silently saying _"What? I didn't do anything!"_

^/^

While waiting for desserts, Molly went to the restroom to refresh her make-up. She was followed shortly after by Irene, leaving the boys alone together.

"So… what do you think?", asked Sherlock, toying with his fork.

John smiled maliciously. "I think… you're in love".

"Oh please, don't start with that!"

"What? There's nothing to be ashamed of. She's lovely, really. I think you'll do great together."

"She's an interesting subject. I've decided to do more… experiments."

"That's what I said… you're in love", concluded John.

^/^

Molly applied the coral-colored lipstick and pursed her lips. _No big difference_, she though. She didn't like her mouth. It was too small and no lipstick would change that. Her feet were hurting, blisters. She was wearing the heels she kept for big occasions but she was missing her flats.

Irene stepped into the room, perfectly at ease on her 5 inch stilettos.

"It's hot in here, isn't it?", she complained. Irene took out a small make up bag out her purse. She added a bit of blush on her cheeks and checked her image in the mirror with satisfaction.

"I'm really glad to finally meet you and John", she said turning to Molly, "Sherlock told me a lot about you two".

_What did he tell you about me?,_ wondered Molly.

"I'm very happy to meet you as well", she replied, "I must say I was quite curious."

Irene laughed softly. "Not too disappointed I hope".

Molly smiled shyly.

"You make a lovely couple. John is so funny", said Irene. "How long have you been married?"

"Almost nine years."

"Wow… that's impressive! Congratulations. It know it's a bit indiscreet but…", continued Irene in a confidential tone, "… how do you keep the passion alive after all this time? I mean, I think sex is so important in a relationship and we're at this stage where we can't keep hands off each other but… doesn't it get boring after a while?"

That's _extremely_ indiscreet, though Molly, flushing with embarrassment. Irene was probably the last person in the world she wanted to discuss her sex life with. She suddenly felt like a mouse cornered by a cat and had no idea what to answer.

"No I mean… it's… it's different, that's all. I guess with the years you also find other ways to enjoy each other's company. And… there are children. Do… you want kids?"

"I think so, but it's complicated with my career... We'll see. Sherlock is such a good dad."

"He loves Audrey more than anything."

"She doesn't like me very much, right?"

"It's the beginning…"

"Oh I understand", interrupted Irene. "It's a normal reaction, especially at her age. My parents got divorced when I was twelve and my dad remarried shortly after. I hated my stepmother just because she existed. I just want you to know that you can trust me and… I'll do my best."

"I don't doubt it", said Molly enthusiastically. But she knew she wasn't a good liar."I think we should go back, the boys are waiting".

^/^

The dinner ended up quite late and Anthea convinced Molly that she should keep the children overnight. Once arrived at the flat, Molly took off her shoes and sat on the sofa to massage her swollen feet.

"So… are you relieved?", asked John.

"Honestly? I think he's going too fast. They've been together for a few weeks and they're already moving in together?"

"Well, that's Sherlock all the way. He never does things by halves…"

"I don't like that girl."

"Oh come on! She's perfect for him. What do you blame her for?"

"I don't know... Sherlock has money, she could be a gold digger. Do you have any idea of what a recording studio cost ? It seems like she's put some kind of spell on him and I have a bad feeling about her."

"A bad feeling ? What is it about? Feminine intuition?"

"You can make fun of it, but it's probably more reliable than the masculine one. You spent the whole evening staring at her legs."

"No I didn't !", exclaimed John.

"Tell me you don't find her attractive ?"

"She's a beautiful woman ok, but that doesn't mean I'm attracted to her. You told me you had a crush on that actor the other day and I didn't make a fuss about it !"

"It's totally different, I'll never meet that guy !"

John looked at wife with an amused expression.

"What ?", asked Molly.

"You look hot when you're jealous. I like it actually." He sat next to her to took one of her feet into his hands.

"Don't try to change the subject."

"But it's true. For once that we have the flat for ourselves…". He kissed her foot and started going up her leg. "… I think we should take advantage of it…"

Irene's world suddenly came back to Molly's mind.

"Are you bored ?"

"What ?"

"In bed, are you bored ?"

"No, why? Are you ?"

"No, I'm just… wondering that's all. It can happen after a while and as you said it's not always easy with the kids around."

He drew her body close to his and she wrapped her legs around his waist.

"Listen, I'll never get bored of you. But… if you want to go on a romantic getaway for the week end and dress up as a sexy nurse, I won't be the one complaining about it."

"Sexy nurse? Really ?", she said, finally cracking a smile.

"Well yeah... I'm a basic guy you know."

"We'll see doctor, we'll see."

^/^

_**Many thanks for your reviews ;-) I wanted to write Irene for quite a while and it's fun to have a new character. As you can guess Molly is quite jealous of Sherlock's new romance, but I can't reveal too much for the moment. More to come !**_


	11. The internet is forever

**Chapter 11**

_One year later_

"But dad!"

"There's no but", said John firmly. "I told your grandmother we were coming long ago."

"But I can't! You don't understand! This party is super important and all my friends are going!", begged Audrey on the verge of tears.

"Surely it's not the end of the world…"

"Yes it is! Everybody is going to make fun of me if I don't go!"

"Oh please…you can make an effort and spend ONE week end at your grandmother's."

"No! I don't want to go there. She doesn't like me anyway, it's always everything for Jack !"

"It's NOT true!"

Molly stepped into the living room, alarmed by the noise. It had all started when John had denied Audrey the permission to attend a party, because he was planning to take her and Jack to spend a week end at his mother's in Surrey. Now, it had turned into an ugly argument, one in many lately.

"What is going on here again?", she inquired.

"Mom! Please you need to tell him! I have to go to Kelly's party!"

"It's only one week end, Audrey. And you already went to Emma's party two weeks ago."

"But this one is more important!". She sounded honestly desperate, as if her life depended on it.

Molly was already tired of the conversation. Audrey was probably the more stubborn person she knew after Sherlock. She briefly imagined the nightmare Sherlock must have been as a teenager and she deeply sympathized with his mother. She also knew that John and her had to stick together if they wanted to maintain some semblance of authority.

"No", she said, "listen to your dad."

"I don't know why I have to go and see her since she's not even my real grandmother. I'll ask to stay with papa instead and I'm sure he'll say yes!". There was a look of satisfaction on her face which was clearly provocative.

"That's enough!", yelled John, "Sherlock doesn't have anything to say about this".

"YOU don't have anything to say about this. YOU're not even my real dad!".

"Audrey!", exclaimed Molly in shock.

"I hate you, I hate you all!", she yelled and ran into her room.

The door banged loudly as she slammed it shut.

"Audrey come back right now!", shouted Molly.

"I'm going out", said John putting on his jacket. He was trying to control himself but Molly could tell that he was boiling inside.

"No wait! John wait, I'll talk to her!"

But she didn't have to time to hold him back. Another door slammed and Molly was left standing there.

"_Oh god…"_ she whispered to herself.

_^/^_

An hour had passed and the flat was now strangely silent. Jack and Molly had dinner in the kitchen but Audrey was still locked in her room. Molly kept a plate for her and knocked tentatively on her door.

"Open the door darling"

"Leave me alone!", answered an angry voice.

Molly sighed and tried to stay calm. She knew it was the only method which worked with her daughter.

"Please Audrey, I just want to talk. I'm not mad at you."

This time her voice met only silence.

"… And I've got pizza", she added.

She was about to give up when the she heard the sound of the key in the lock. She gently pushed the door and found her daughter seated on her bed. Molly put down the plate on the desk and sat next to her.

Audrey was busy drawing, apparently ignoring her mother's presence. Her long legs were curled up against her chest and Molly noticed that her eyes were red.

"So…", started Molly, "what is so special about this party?"

"I'm not going anyway…", replied Audrey, still not raising her eyes from her sketchbook.

Molly started again: "If it was only about your friends you wouldn't make such a fuss. So I guess there's something else… A boy perhaps?"

This time Audrey finally looked up. She seemed surprised.

"Maybe…" she said.

"What's his name?", asked Molly.

"Carlo."

"Carlo? Isn't it the boy who was expelled from your class last month?"

"Only for one week. And it wasn't his fault."

"I see…", sighed Molly. _"Bad boy syndrome starts early",_ she though.

"He's invited to the party and he asked me if I was going too! He didn't ask anyone else and all the girls are jealous. Now nobody will understand if I don't go!"

"And you think it's a reason good enough to say things like that to your dad?", said Molly dryly.

Audrey looked down and bit her lip. She obviously felt guilty about her behavior.

Molly passed a hand in her daughter's hair.

"So my little girl is in love?"

"I'm not a little girl anymore."

"My big girl is in love?"

Audrey rolled her eyes. "I don't know… I like him. But, how do you know when you're really in love?"

"Well… I guess it's when someone makes you really happy, and you can't stop thinking about him."

"Was it like that between you and papa?"

Molly was a bit taken aback and didn't know what to answer. She had loved Sherlock for sure, but what about him? She couldn't possibly tell her that their relationship had been mostly about sex.

"I think so yes", she replied.

"Then why didn't you stay together?"

"Darling… I already explained you what happened."

"But when he came back?"

"When he came back I was married to you dad. And I was in love with him."

"But you loved Papa even more! I've read it."

Molly's eyes widened, "What did you read?"

Audrey looked slightly embarrassed. "The other day… I was googling names of people I know… And I found your blog."

"My… my blog? You mean that old thing? It's still exist?"

"Well, yes if you never deleted it. The internet is forever mom!"

"Oh", simply said Molly. She had stopped writing on that blog years ago and had almost forgotten about it. Hopefully there wasn't anything too compromising but the fact that Audrey had discovered it made her felt uncomfortable

"Listen…", she started. "… I was very much in love with your papa. Then I lost him and… it broke my heart. But hopefully I had you, and your dad. I don't know what I'd have become without him. He was there when you were born, and you've been his little princess ever since. You know he would do anything for you, and he doesn't make any difference between you and Jack."

"But Grandma does!"

"Your grandmother… I know she's not being very fair with you. And she doesn't like me much either. But, you must at least respect her, like you must respect Irene. I know you did some efforts with her lately and I'm very proud of you. Now about your dad…"

"Do you think he'll come back?"

"Of course he'll come back. I know you didn't mean what you said earlier but, words can hurt you know. And I'm sure your dad is feeling really sad right now."

"I'm sorry…", murmured Audrey.

"It's not to me you have to tell it."

She nodded and tears started rolling again on her cheeks. Molly took her hand.

"There will be other parties. And I'm not sure this Carlo is really worth all this trouble. You're only 12, you've got all the time in the world to worry about boys! And with those beautiful eyes of yours, it will never be a problem…"

Audrey gave her mother a timid smile. "Did you have a lot of boyfriends?", she asked.

"Not that many", said Molly, "and certainly not when I was your age."

"What about Jim? The guy from your blog?"

The name made her shiver. Of course, she had talked about Jim on her blog. About the nights where she had been watching "Glee" with a psychopath killer. Audrey knew about the Reichenbach incident, but hopefully she hadn't made the connection between "Jim from IT" and the infamous James Moriarty.

"Oh, I only went on a few dates with him but it didn't work out."

"Because he was gay?"

"I never really found out. But, he wasn't a good person. Actually he was pretty awful. Nice boys aren't always what they seem, please remember that. I hope you never meet anyone like Jim…" She gave her daughter a kiss on the forehead. "Ok, eat that pizza and then off to bed. And promise me that tomorrow morning you'll apologize to your dad and give him a big hug. He's already all grumpy about his birthday…"

"I swear. Good night mom."

^/^

John still wasn't back home. Molly though he was probably having a few beers at the pub. While waiting for him, she settled in bed with her laptop and went to check her old blog. It was still there indeed, like stuck in time. She looked with amusement at the first pictures of Toby. He was an old cat now but had always been a loyal companion.

One of the texts caught her attention, it was of course about Sherlock:

"_Do you believe in love at first sight? There's this man and I love him. At least, I think I do. I can't stop thinking about him. He's so intelligent it's like he's burning. And he's so cool but not really. And he's fit. Oh, he is really fit. And I can't stop thinking about him. I'm a sensible girl, I always have been. I've worked hard to get the job I have and I've got plans but he just rides all over everything. It's like I'm Molly Hooper, in control. 'Little Miss Perfect' as my mates call me. Until he walks into the room and then suddenly I'm this little mouse. He turns me into a mouse."_

She couldn't help smiling at her own words. It had been over ten years ago and she had changed for sure. But she was still a hard worker. And Sherlock was still fit. As much as she tried to deny it, it hurted her to see him with Irene. She knew that they sometimes had some massive rows, but they would always get back together and seemed to be happy. Maybe she was right for him after all, and it wasn't her business anyway… That blog belonged to a time that was gone, and she decided to delete it for good.

She glanced at the watch, it was getting late. She took her phone and texted John:

"_Where are u? Come back we love u xx"_

_^/^_

_**^^ Please review ^^ !**_


	12. A birthday dinner

**Chapter 12**

John had decided that birthdays were not fun anymore after the age of 40. So he wasn't particularly excited at the perspective of turning 47 this year. He didn't want to do a big party, so Molly had organized a diner at Alfredo's with Sherlock and Irene only.

Before going out, John had received his presents at home. Molly got him a reflex camera and the kids bought a jumper for his collection and some rugby tickets. Audrey had also written a card, with words of apologize and glittery hearts.

Angelo had of course kept them his best table. He insisted on offering the meal and prepared a tiramisu with birthday candles for dessert. He had removed the altar dedicated to Sherlock after his "death", but he kept a signed picture of him on the wall.

"Irene, is it the first time you come at Angelo's ?", inquired John.

"No, we've been here once together."

"So I bet Sherlock already told you about the first time he and I had diner here?"

"No, why? He never tells me anything!"

Sherlock rolled his eyes.

"Tell me what happened!"

"Ok so, Angelo was convinced that I was Sherlock's date. He even brought us a candle. I had just met him the same day and we were about to move in together, so I started asking myself questions!"

"Well…", started Irene. "I must say that I asked myself the same question. The first time I saw him I though… god he's too cute to be straight!"

"And the worst he is that he never tries to deny it!", added John.

"Why ?", asked Sherlock with a grin, "I find it rather amusing".

"Anyway, I think you two would have made a lovely couple", said Irene.

"We've been told that many times!", joked John.

They were interrupted by Angelo who came to take the orders. « Signore e signori, have you chosen? »

"Not yet, Angelo. Can you give us a minute?", said Sherlock.

"Of course, take all your time. Anything on the menu, I cook it myself!"

"I can't decide between the cannelloni and the veal", hesitated Irene. I wonder if it's as good as the one we had in Venice, you remember baby?"

"Yes… Vitello tonnato", said Sherlock with an impeccable Italian accent.

"Hum… it was delicious. I can't wait to go back! Have you been to Venice Molly?"

"No, I didn't".

"John! What are you waiting for? You have to take your wife to Venice, it's so romantic!"

"Well… if you manage to convince him. I don't think we did a real travel since our honeymoon", said Molly sounding slightly bitter.

"That's a pity. I love travelling. Did I tell you that Sherlock and I are going to New York at the end of the month?"

"Oh, that's great!", said John. "Do you still have some family there?"

"Yes, my mother lives in New Jersey. But I'm also going for my work. I need to promote the album and meet some musicians for the next one."

"So you're not going to be there for the holidays?, asked Molly.

"No, we're leaving on the 23rd", replied Sherlock.

"Oh"

"What?"

"No, it's just… you won't be there for Christmas. Audrey is going to be disappointed."

Sherlock looked a bit embarrassed. "I… I know but we couldn't do otherwise. I'll make it up to her."

"With a present?", replied Molly. There was a clear disapprobation in her tone.

"Well, it's Christmas why shouldn't I get her a present?"

"You know what I mean. That's what you always do. You buy something expensive and you think that it will solve everything."

"Molly…", whispered John.

"What? I'm just saying what I think! Christmas is family time… but you're free to do whatever you want."

"If it's really a problem I can go by myself, you can join me after Christmas…", said Irene.

"No", interrupted Sherlock. "We're not changing anything. I'll talk to Audrey myself, I'm sure she will understand. And maybe next time we can take her with us?"

"We'll see...", said Molly. "It's not the time or place to argue anyway. Just don't forget her ballet show on the 16th". She put down her menu, "I'm ready to order".

^/^

"Was it rude? What I said? ", asked Molly once they were back to their bedroom.

"No but… honestly? I think you've been a bit hard with Sherlock."

"You don't agree with me? It's just because he doesn't dare to contradict her. I told you, this woman has some kind of power over him."

"I know this trip is important for him…"

"What do you mean?"

John seemed to hesitate for a moment. "Listen… I'm not supposed to tell anybody for now but… he's going to propose."

"What?", exclaimed Molly.

"Yes, he already bought the ring and everything that's… his Christmas gift."

Molly remained speechless, her mind trying to process the information.

"Oh… I screwed up right?"

"No just… don't say anything, she has no idea."

"So… Sherlock is getting married…", said Molly almost to herself.

"I know, who would have guessed?"

"Yeah…"

"You don't seem very excited", noticed John.

"I… I don't know. I'm a bad friend right? I know I should be happy for him but… it's stronger than me, I just don't like her!"

"Here we go again…", said John shaking his head.

"Seriously, she's so annoying. What? You haven't been to Venice?", she said imitating her American accent. "Or when she called him baby !".

"I call you baby", argued John.

"It's different!"

"You know what, I think you're just jealous."

"Jealous? Of her?"

"Yes, after all Sherlock is your ex, it's normal."

Molly slightly blushed. She always felt uncomfortable when John mentioned her past feelings for Sherlock. Maybe because they weren't as buried as he imagined.

"Don't be ridiculous, it was ages ago."

"Nobody likes to see its ex moving on. That's why I didn't go to Sarah's wedding. I pretended I was attending a medical conference but in fact I just didn't want to see her marrying another man. Not that I'm interested in her, I was the one who broke up but I guess it just hurts my ego to see that I'm not…. irreplaceable."

_Exactly, _she though_._ It hurt her ego to see Sherlock treating Irene like a queen, offering her marriage while she had just been an occasional booty call. But John didn't need to know about that.

"It's not that… I just hope he's not making a mistake."

"I think Sherlock is a big boy, he can make his own decisions", said John.

"You're right', said Molly. "I hope I didn't ruin your birthday…"

"No, I spent a great evening. Well, expect the age of course."

"Actually… you still have one more gift to see…", said Molly with a suggestive wink.

"Oh…. one of _those_ gifts ?"

"Yes…"

"Lingerie?"

"Humm almost… I need to get changed."

"What is it ?" John was both puzzled and completely turned on. "Oh! Don't tell me ! It's not… the sexy nurse costume?"

Molly giggled. "Yes ! Now get ready doctor."

^/^

_**Again many many thanks for your reviews and subscriptions! You are wonderful readers ! **_

_**I can't tell you more for now but… the next chapter is going to particularly important ;-)**_


	13. Playing with fire

**Chapter 13**

The first snow of the season didn't stop the crowd from filling the streets of London. It was early December and everybody was already on the hunt for Christmas gifts. Molly loved that time of the year, with all the lightings and the pretty decorations. John and the children were spending the week end at his mother's. They had left on Friday afternoon and Audrey almost didn't complain. Molly rarely had time for herself. She spent a quiet Friday night catching up her favorite shows on TV and enjoyed sleeping in on Saturday morning. She spent her afternoon at Bart's where she did some paperwork she had been postponing for a long time. Then, she headed to Oxford Street and indulged a little shopping session.

She was about to come back home, but she realised that she wasn't very far from Sherlock's. Audrey had asked her to get back the ballet shoes she had forgotten at her papa's, and which she needed for her show the following week. She hoped that Sherlock was home because she didn't want to deal with Irene alone.

She walked up Portland Square and then Baker Street. She rang at the door of 221B but got no answer. The snow was getting stronger and the cold air was making her shiver. She looked up the building and didn't see any lights on. She was going to leave but she noticed that the front door was actually opened. That would have never happened when Mrs Hudson was still there, but Sherlock was a bit careless at times.

She wondered what to do. She felt uncomfortable sneaking in, but maybe there was someone inside? Or she might be able to find the shoes herself and quickly leave. She came in and closed the door behind her. The house was silent and there didn't seem to be anyone downstairs. Audrey's room was on the second floor, so she started climbing up. When she arrived at the first floor, she though she heard some noise coming from the living room. She knocked at the door and announced herself:

"Hello, it's Molly! I was passing by and the door was opened."

She waited a minute but got no answer. However, she was sure that she heard something this time. Maybe there were some burglars in the house? She though she should probably leave and call the police. But Sherlock's voice suddenly answered:

"It's open…"

Molly was relieved and opened the door. The room was almost completely dark, the only light was coming from the fireplace. Sherlock seemed to be taking a nap on the sofa.

"Sorry to disturb. I came to pick up Audrey's ballet shoes, the pink ones. Do you know where she left them?"

He sighed loudly.

"I don't know… they must be in her room…"

His voice sounded strange, so Molly didn't insist. She went upstairs and easily found the shoes in one of Audrey's drawers. She could leave now but her instincts were telling her that something wasn't right. So she went back to the living room.

"I've got them. Hum… good bye."

The detective didn't answer.

"Sherlock… are you alright?", asked Molly.

He started laughing. But it wasn't a cheerful laugh, on the contrary it sounded rather desperate. Molly got worried and turned on the light.

The whole room was a mess. It looked like the place had been turned upside down. There was some broken glass on the floor, which Molly recognized to be the remains of a vase. Sherlock was lying in his pijamas, one of his arms covering his eyes. There was an opened bottle of vodka next to the sofa. Something was definitely wrong indeed, and Molly started to have an idea of what might have happened.

"Sherlock, what's going on? Where is Irene? »

" She's gone ", he answered coldly.

« What do you mean gone? »

"GONE !", he yelled. I told her to pack her things and leave. She took the first plane this morning."

Molly couldn't believe what she was hearing. She knew that Sherlock and Irene had some fights in the past, but this seemed serious.

"I… I don't understand, what happened?"

He got up and sat and the sofa, facing her. He looked exhausted and was unshaved which was extremely rare.

"Well, it happened that she had been sleeping with her producer for the past three months."

"Oh God…", said Molly, putting her hand over her mouth.

He snorted and continued: "Isn't it funny? It was right under my nose and I didn't see anything! ME! Of all people! How ironic is that? I'm the only consulting detective in the world and I couldn't even tell that my girlfriend was cheating on me? Oh… the Yard is going to love this!". He buried his face in his hands.

Molly put the shoes and the table. She went to sit next to him and placed her hand on his shoulder.

"Sherlock… I don't know what to say. I'm so sorry. "

"Oh please... I know you never liked her, and you were right. How could have I been such an IDIOT!"

"Ok, you're right I wasn't… very fond of Irene. But, I never imagined something like that would happen! You don't have to blame yourself, maybe… it was too close for you to see. You know what they say, love is blind."

"Love made me STUPID! And you don't even know the worse, I was going to propose."

She pursed her lips wondering if she should tell him that she knew. Well, it wasn't a secret anymore…

"I know, John told me. Maybe, it's better than it happened… before?"

"It shouldn't have happened at all. I was a fool to believe that once in my life I could do something… _normal._ But now it's clear this is not for me. Those feelings… it's like if they turned me into another person. They make my brain go slow! And yet… all I can do is sit here and think about her." He shook his head and grabbed his hair like if it could make that though go away. "I told her horrible things you know. I called her a whore… I wish she would come back. No, I don't want her back. I don't know what I want anymore…"

He looked truly lost and it was painful for her to watch. She couldn't possibly leave him in at that state. When he tried to catch the bottle on the floor she stopped him and took it away.

"Well, I don't think vodka is going help clearing your mind. I think you what need is a proper meal."

"I'm not hungry…"

"I'm sure you haven't eaten all day. And you need to soak up all this alcohol. I'm going to cook something for you."

"No…", he groaned.

"Haven't you heard about comfort food? Why do you think women love ice cream so much? Because it's the best breakup remedy. And you're talking to a specialist."

Despite his protests, she headed to the kitchen and started looking into the cupboards. They were almost empty.

"God… there's nothing in it ? Did she leave with the food as well?"

"We don't really… shop for food."

"What do you eat then?"

"She usually has take-away. And on the days when I eat, we go to the restaurant."

Molly sighed. She would never get used to Sherlock's eating / non eating days habit. That was something she would never allow if they lived together.

"I found a pack of pasta, I guess that will do."

"I told you I'm not hungry!"

^/^

Molly's cooking had always had some kind of magic power over Sherlock. He whined and complained, but in the end he ate with appetite.

He opened a bottle of red wine for them to share. Molly said it wasn't a good idea with what he already drank before but she let him do. He seemed to be doing a little better and was now very talkative.

"Why aren't you with John and the kids?", he inquired.

"I couldn't go, I had to work today."

"Nothing urgent, you could have cancelled. No… you didn't want to go. Why? Mother-in-law?"

"Yes… John's mother doesn't really appreciate me. She… never really accepted that I already I had a child when we got married."

"My mother loves you", said Sherlock.

Molly smiled. "I love her as well. She was really kind to me when I was pregnant."

"We could do Christmas at her home this year. Now I don't have any other plans… She would love it."

"Yes, it's a good idea."

"She will be disappointed about Irene. She was already hoping to have other grandchildren. I guess that will never happen now. With my brother who can't make up his mind..."

Molly realised that she had rarely seen Sherlock speaking so openly. The wine was certainly helping. She took advantage of it and questioned him about his brother.

"OK, so I never really understood. Is he dating Anthea or not ?"

"I don't know if dating is the correct way to put it, but yes they're together. They've been for years, but he refuses to make it public."

"Why ?"

"Because in his particular field of work, romantic relationships between colleagues are not tolerated. If I ever wanted to marry Anthea and start a family, she would have to quit. And he doesn't want another assistant."

"Wait, you mean he's not marrying her because he doesn't want to hire another PA ?"

"Exactly. Well… it's Mycroft we're talking about, are you surprised? After all, I must admit I think he's quite right about it. Work is a much more reliable mistress. It never betrayed me. I'll end up alone, like you once told me, and it's better this way."

"Don't be so pessimistic. You never know what can happen. Look, you broke my heart many times, and it didn't stop me."

"You're much stronger than I ever will be", said Sherlock.

He looked at her with his piercing blue eyes. She noticed that there were some fine wrinkles around them now, but it suited him well. His hair was still black though, while John's had started growing white. Sherlock was probably dying them. She had always though it amusing that for someone who claimed not to take care about people's opinion, he was actually quite vain. And he still looked dashing. She felt her cheeks flush slightly.

"It's getting late, I think you should go to sleep", she said. She got up to bring back the plates to the kitchen and realised that her head was spinning. She had been drinking a bit too much of that wine as well.

"I'll stay here", said Sherlock, "just get me the blanket."

"No, no, no. You're spent enough time on this sofa, you're going to your room."

He refused to move and curled into a ball.

"Seriously, you're worse than a child… ". She clapped her hand. "Now ! Off to bed ! And you're lucky that I don't make you brush your teeth", she ordered

He finally surrendered and headed toward his bedroom. Molly followed him carrying a glass of water and an aspirin that she put on his bedside table.

"I'll think you'll need it when you wake up."

"Thank you", he said.

Molly took a look around her, she had been there many years before. She recognized the room but it definitely had a more feminine touch now. Sherlock was seated on his bed. It was time for her to leave.

She came closer and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

"OK, I have to go now. I'll give you a call tomorrow. John and the kids are coming back in the afternoon, if you want we can come to see you. You shouldn't stay by yourself."

"Then stay with me…", he suggested.

"Sherlock, you know I can't."

"You can't go back on your own. It's late, and cold, and you're tipsy."

"It's fine, I'll take a cab."

"Cabbies are dangerous, believe me I talk from experience. You can take Audrey's room if you want".

"I don't think this is a good idea. Bye, and take care of you."

She turned away and headed to the door. Her hand was on the handle when she heard his voice again.

"I'm not feeling well, you can't leave me like that!"

She froze and sighed. He was truly exasperating. But she also knew that, left unattended, he was capable of doing something stupid. So she turned back.

"Ok, ok, I'll stay until you get asleep. It shouldn't take too long with what you drank."

He seemed satisfied and settled in a sleeping position.

"You're not going to stand there", he said, "sit on the bed."

The whole situation was starting to get embarrassing. But she did felt ridiculous standing there. She scanned the room looking for a chair but there wasn't any. She resigned herself and sat on the corner of the bed, barely not touching it.

"So…", he started, "do I get a story ?"

"No, you're too old for that."

"Hum… that's too bad." He started laughing to himself, like if he was remembering something funny.

"What?", asked Molly.

"Well… one day I got Lestrade to tell me a story".

"Seriously?"

"Yes. Well, it was a long time ago. I was staying at his house for a while and… I was really sick. I convinced him to tell me a story as if it was a matter of life or death. It was a joke, I never thought he would actually do it, but he did!"

"No way!"

"I swear! I wish I had it on tape. It was… absolutely brilliant!"

They laughed heartily together.

"Why were you staying at Lestrade's ?"

Sherlock became suddenly seriously again. "I needed a place to stay. It was right after my… addiction problem. The rehab wasn't really working and I didn't want to stay with my brother. He helped me, and he got me a job."

"It seems that I always discover things about you… Sometimes I wonder if I know you at all."

"You don't want to know everything, believe me."

He gave her a predatory smile. If she had been sensible enough, that was the moment where she should have left. But she felt tired. And the bed felt soft. And his eyes were beautiful.

"I like it when you take care of me", he whispered, "I missed it."

He began caressing her hand with one finger. Molly shivered and looked away.

"Sherlock…don't."

His thumb was now drawing circles on her inner forearm. It was getting dangerous, but strangely she couldn't move. His touch was electrifying.

"Stop… we can't do that."

Before she realised it, he was already kissing her neck. Molly's thoughts were getting more and more confused. She knew this was forbidden but her senses were overload by the sensations. The alcohol, his fingers running over her body, his smell. She closed her eyes and started abandoning herself to the moment.

"Sherlock…", she murmured. But this time she wasn't trying to stop him. He kissed her again, on the lips this time and she responded quickly. Soon she was lying on the bed and he settled over her. He took off his pijama top and started undoing her clothes.

She felt slightly ashamed. She was 43 and she certainly didn't look like Irene. She blushed as he looked at her naked body. He softly caressed her cheek.

"You're so pretty", he said and started placing kisses along her jawline. "I just don't understand why I you cut your hair. I loved it when it was long. I kept saying it but you though I was making fun of you."

"You were…", she said giggling.

They were interrupted by a phone ringing. It was Sherlock's but he didn't pick up.

"You don't answer?", asked Molly, "It might be Irene".

"I couldn't care less about her right now", he replied, and threw the phone away.

She had a little smile of satisfaction. The phone beeped again, but Sherlock was way too busy. He was carefully exploring every inch of Molly's body. She was amazed, as he had never really paid attention to her pleasure before. But this time he was gentle, almost tender. She wondered what had changed him. What is time? Or Irene? Or maybe just alcohol… Soon she wasn't able to think about it anymore, as his mouth was doing something absolutely exquisite between her legs.

^/^

Molly was still in that strange state of mind, halfway between sleep and awake, but she could already feel that something was wrong. She heard the distinctive sound of a cat purring close to her and opened her eyes. The cat meowed and started licking her face. She smiled but something was bothering her and she couldn't put her finger on it. Then, she realised that it wasn't Toby. It was Caesar, Audrey's cat. What was he doing in her bed? Wait, was it even her bed? She couldn't recognize the sheets either. It wasn't her bed, it wasn't her room, but worse of all, the man next to her wasn't her husband.

Suddenly, it all came back to her in a flash. Something unbelievable had happened, she had cheated on John. And not with just anybody, with Sherlock. He left her one week end, two little days and she managed to sleep with his best friend. It was an absolute nightmare. She started feeling physically sick, nauseous. She got up, picked up her clothes and got dressed in a hurry. But she had no idea of what to do next.

Could she just go home and pretend that nothing happened? She didn't have the time to hesitate long because Sherlock was also waking up. Actually, he was rather moaning like a wounded animal.

"God, my head…", he complained.

He blinked several times and stared at Molly as if she was some kind of hallucination.

"What… why are you here?", he babbled and looked around him. "Where's Irene?"

She looked at him sadly. He pressed his head between his hands in an intense effort of concentration.

"She's gone right?"

"Yes", said Molly softly.

"You.. you and I ?"

She nodded. "You don't remember?"

"Not really. Shit… oh shit !", he exclaimed.

Molly though it was probably the most embarrassing moment of her whole life.

"I… I should you go", she said.

Sherlock didn't answer. He was still seated on his bed, almost prostrated. The awkward silence was broken by the sound of Sherlock's phone ring. He looked around him but couldn't locate from where it was coming.

"Where's my phone?", he asked.

"I don't know, you… threw it away yesterday."

He got up and started looking frantically on the floor. He finally found it under a piece of furniture, but it had already stopped ringing.

"It must have been Irene", he said nervously, and immediately called to check his voicemail.

There was a message indeed. Molly watched him as he was listening to it, and she saw his face turning white. He hung up and looked at her with a strange expression.

"What is it?", she asked anxiously. "What did she say?"

"It wasn't Irene, it was John."

"What?"

"He's looking for you. Apparently they came back home last night, the kids wanted to make you the surprise. He's panicking because he doesn't know where you are. He said you're not answering your phone, he texted me several times last night and he called all your friends…"

"No, no it's impossible, I would have heard it!"

"Where is your phone?", asked Sherlock.

"In my bag…"

Molly ran to the living room and came back a few seconds later holding her phone. She was in tears.

"The battery is dead… it must have been all evening. Oh god what are we going to do? He can't find out Sherlock! We have to find something, he can't find out!"

She seated on the bed, sobbing almost hysterically. Sherlock, on the contrary, was strangely calm. He seemed to be thinking for a moment, then started dialing a number.

"What you are you doing?", she asked .

"I'm calling John."

"Wait, why are you going tell him?"

"The truth".

"Are you crazy?". She jumped and tried to take the phone away from him.

"Give it to me! Sherlock don't!"

But it was too late, she heard her husband picking up on the other end.

"Hello John", said Sherlock, "it's me".

**^/^**

_**OK… I'm sorry for the cliffhanger but it was too tempting!**_

_**Don't get me wrong I actually like Irene Adler, but… it needed to happen. So don't hate her! What was important to me is that I didn't want her to be a criminal or some sort of international thief because I don't like this version. But… she is a bit of a man eater after all !**_

_**And about Sherlock, my opinion is that he is by nature a very passionate character. He doesn't fall in love easily, but if it happens it would be intense and pretty destructive. His brain wouldn't be able to function as perfectly as usual, so it might affect his work. I think this is why he is always trying to protect himself by building walls around him. But getting older, he is changing. He is more accessible but that also makes him vulnerable.**_

_**Now… you'll just have to wait a little bit more to find out what happens to our dear Molly, who is in big trouble…**_


	14. Back to Black

**Chapter 14**

"Hello John, it's me", said Sherlock.

Molly was suspended to his lips, she couldn't believe he was about to tell him the truth. Hopefully she was quickly relieved while listening to the one-sided conversation:

"It's fine, she's here with me… yes in Baker Street… No she's been here all evening, but her phone was discharged and she didn't get your calls… I know… She's fine… She came here yesterday to pick up Audrey's ballet shoes and… I wasn't doing well so she stayed with me… it was late and the weather was terrible so I thought it would be wiser for her to spend the night but we had no idea you were back… I'm ok… Irene left… no it's over… long story I'll explain you… yes I'll pass her to you, bye."

He passed the phone to Molly and gave her a meaningful look. She nodded and tried to keep her voice as normal as possible to answer John:

"Hi darling, I'm so sorry!"

"For god sake Molly, I was terrified!"

"I know… I'm sorry… I didn't know you were back! And I didn't get your calls!"

"And Sherlock wasn't answering either… I was about to call Lestrade, I though you two had been… kidnapped or something!"

"Oh no ! Well… I had to stay, I couldn't leave him like that! "

"What happened? Did Irene leave him?"

"No… it's rather the contrary. But it's pretty bad."

"Yeah, I bet. I'm sorry to hear about that but… wow I'm relieved! I'm going to pick you up ok? So that I can talk a bit with him too."

"Ok, I'm waiting for you. How are the kids?"

"Fine… I tried not to worry them too much but they can't wait to see you."

"Ok come soon!"

"Bye"

"And John…"

"What?"

"I love you"

"I love you too."

Molly put down the phone, her heart was beating wildly.

Sherlock slowly clapped his hands in approval. "Splendid! I'm impressed. I didn't know you were such a good actress."

John had seemed to be convinced by her performance indeed. But that didn't make her happy. She was disgusted with herself.

Sherlock continued: "But don't be overly affectionate, he'll get suspicious."

"I think he… didn't suspect anything. You scared me, I thought you were going to tell him everything."

"Telling the truth is often the best way to lie. But no, I wouldn't make the same mistake twice."

"What are you talking about?", she asked.

His face took a painful expression.

"When I was a bit younger than Audrey, I found out that my father was having an affair. I told my Mum, I though… it was the right thing to do. My parents divorced because of me. My brother still blames me for that. And I'm not sure it made my mother any happier."

"I'm sorry… I didn't know", she mumbled, a bit taken aback bit this unexpected confession. She understood that Irene's betrayal, and their own betrayal to John must have had a particular resonance for him. She wished they could talk and clean the air about last night but time was running out.

"John said he was coming here?", asked Sherlock.

"Yes, he'll be there soon."

"Then you just have the time to take a shower. I'll get rid of the empty bottles."

^/^

Molly and Sherlock played their part well. John was happy to be reunited with his wife after a night of distress. He also had a little heart to heart discussion with his friend. Sherlock explained to Audrey that Irene and he had broken up, sparing the details. Unsurprisingly, the news didn't break her heart. But she gave her papa a big hug and told him that she would always love him.

It was only when she found herself alone in the bathroom at night that Mollly allowed herself to cry.

The following days, she put on her mask, but inside she was still feeling terrible. She kept forming scenarios in her a mind, each worse than the other. One day the truth would inevitably come out. John would ask for divorce and she would never see her children again. Or he would go completely crazy and kill Sherlock. Those thoughts were keeping her awake most of the night, until she would finally fall asleep, and wake up a few hours later still exhausted.

There was nothing to justify her behavior, no excuse. How could she have been so weak? There had been the alcohol of course, but she was the less drunk of the two and she should have stopped him. But the truth was that she didn't want him to stop. It had all felt so… natural. Maybe she should stop lying to herself, accept her feelings and run away with him? And then what? Her family would be destroyed. Audrey might be the only one to accept the situation. But what about Jack? And what future could she have with Sherlock anyway? He would get tired of her after six months. And then she would be alone.

But most of all, there was no way she could ever cause that pain to John. Everytime he was looking at her, smiling at her, she could feel a sharp pain in her abdomen. At the beginning of their marriage, she had though that if one of them would one day cheat on the other, it would be him. After all, he had the reputation of being quite a womanizer. During one of his veterans reunions, she had once overheard his friends calling him "John-three-continents-Watson." She had felt vaguely jealous when he would look a bit too insistently at some beautiful woman, but she was certain that he had always remained faithful to her. On the contrary, she had done him the worst thing a woman could possibly do to a man: sleeping with his best friend. If he ever discovered it, he would be utterly broken.

Finally, her dilemma was easily solved. She could live with her guilt, her remorse and maybe her regrets, but John shall never know. Two days later, she received a text message from Sherlock saying _"We need to talk"._ And then another one, with only one word: _"Call". _She deleted both of them.

But she couldn't avoid him forever. They were actually supposed to meet on the following Sunday, for Audrey's ballet show. He arrived as the curtain was rising, so they didn't have time to talk. Molly was seated between Sherlock and John, which was almost torture. She tried to stay focused on her daughter who was performing gracefully on stage. With her long legs and high cheekbones, she looked like the perfect ballerina. They went to congratulate her backstage but Sherlock, to Molly's relief, couldn't stay for dinner. Everybody noticed that he looked pale and tired.

During the week, John met with Lestrade at the Yard's Christmas Party. The inspector shared his concerns that Sherlock was being particularly irritable lately and had turned down all the cases he had offered him. He was spending his time locked at Baker Street, and his friend started worrying that he might be going through a bout of depression. It wasn't until Christmas Eve that he realised the true nature of the situation.

^/^

They were supposed to spend the evening all together at the Holmes estate. It was going to be another embarrassing moment, but Molly knew it meant a lot to Sherlock's mother. At 6PM sharp, Mycroft rang at the door and Audrey ran to welcome her uncle. He was particularly elegant, wearing one of his traditional three piece suits.

"If everybody if ready, the cars are waiting downstairs", announced Mycroft.

Molly was putting her coat on, while John was adjusting his tie.

"I'm bringing my dance costume so that I can do a part of my show for grandma", said Audrey proudly.

"That's a lovely initiative", replied Mycroft. "However… I'm afraid I have bad news…" Everybody froze and all eyes turned in his direction.

"Sherlock won't be able to join us tonight."

"What? Why?", exclaimed Audrey. Molly and John looked at each other in concern.

"He has been hospitalized this morning with appendicitis."

"Oh no! Can we go see him?"

"No darling, he is waiting for surgery right now. But he will be fine, don't worry."

"It sucks if Papa is not there!", whined Audrey. She dropped her bag on the floor with a resigned look.

"Audrey…", interrupted John.

"No but I mean it's sad… that he's all alone for Christmas."

"It is unfortunate,indeed", added Mycroft. "But we will pay him a visit tomorrow and bring him his presents. Fine?"

"Ok…", agreed Audrey.

"Now Audrey and Jack, why don't you go wait in the car? I think that Anthea has an interesting stock of chocolates waiting for both of you. We will join you in a minute."

He had a somehow forced smile, which immediately disappeared as soon as the children left. A heavy silence fell upon the room.

"It's not appendicitis, right?", asked Molly. "He already had it, many years ago. I remember very well because he collapsed just in front of me at Bart's."

"No it's not", said Mycroft gravely. He frowned and gripped the handle of his umbrella. "He overdosed on medication."

"What ?", exclaimed John.

"But he's out of danger."

Molly was in shock, a terrible though crossed her mind.

"Did he…"

"No", cut Mycroft. "It was an accident. Apparently he had been using various anxiolytics and sedatives over the past two weeks. And the fact that he had almost stopped eating didn't help. But thankfully, the dose wasn't fatal. He is already conscious."

John shook his head and sighed. "I can't believe it… I should have seen it the other day…"

"It is useless to think about could have been done. And Sherlock is very good at hiding this kind of things, believe me. He will be fine for this time, I just hope this doesn't take us back twenty years. I have informed our mother, but as you understood I would prefer if we keep Audrey out of it."

"Yes of course", murmured Molly.

^/^

The evening went on relatively smoothly due the circumstances. Some cousins of the Vernet family had travelled all the way from France. Audrey was a bit sulky, but she still did her dance performance. Jack, who had started learning the piano, also made a demonstration of his musical skills. Usually, Sherlock would end the night by playing some violin, but this year his presence was sorely missed.

At 11PM, they were getting ready to leave for Christmas Mass, expect Elizabeth Holmes who was too tired and decided to go bed. While the kids were telling her goodnight and hanging their stockings by the fire, Molly went out to get some fresh air on one of the balconies.

The night outside was peaceful but her mind was troubled. She was lost in her thoughts when Mycroft joined her. To Molly's surprise, he pulled out a cigarette and lit it with a golden lighter.

"I didn't know you smoked", she noticed.

"Rarely", he replied. "It's my only vice… unlike my brother."

"I can't help thinking of Sherlock. He must be feeling terrible, he was supposed to propose today. Do you know if he has been in touch with Irene?"

"Unfortunately yes", said Mycroft.

"Do you think… he'll forgive her?"

"Christmas… the time for _forgiveness", _he said with a snort._ "_Isn't it beautiful? Well, I had the opportunity to talk to Miss Adler lately and I think she understood it was in her best interest… not to contact Sherlock anymore."

Molly didn't need to ask more details to understand the implications. Along the years, she had learned that even if Mycroft's threats were always veiled, they were to be taken very seriously.

"I guess it's for the best."

"Yes", he continued. "I happen to have little tolerance for… _infidelity_."

He had pronounced that last word with clear disdain and looking straight at her. A shiver went down her spine and in a split second, she knew that he knew. Of course he did, how could she ever hope to hide anything from Mycroft?

"Please don't tell John…", she whispered.

"Oh no no no… I have far too much respect for Dr Watson. But I suggest you immediately put an end to this inconsiderate behavior."

"Excuse me but I don't think you are in the position to give me advice about relationships."

She immediately regretted her words as Mycroft's attitude became icy cold.

"I am in the position of wanting to protect my brother and my niece. It is cruel to give Sherlock false hopes when all he needs is to be left in peace."

"What hopes are you talking about? It only happened once. He was lost and I was stupid. It was a mistake and I'm already paying for it."

Mycroft took a drag and slowly exhaled the smoke.

"I think you underestimate the feelings Sherlock has for you. Irene was a fad, there is no doubt this would have ended in an ugly divorce. But you are different. You are the mother of his child. Now he realises what he could have had but… it is too late. Because we both know that you are not going to leave your husband."

She hesitated for a moment, her lip shaking a little bit.

"Indeed", she said.

"You can count on my discretion. But I expect you to be honest with my brother."

She nodded silently.

"Very well", said Mycroft, stubbing out his cigarette. "You should go back inside, we will be leaving shortly."

He headed to the door, leaving her standing there.

"Oh and Molly…", he said turning back, "Merry Christmas."

^/^

Many thanks for your messages, and keep reviewing!

England's Rose : Thank you and don't worry I'm not offended at all ! I used your corrections on the last chapter. Don't hesitate if you see other mistakes, I know my English is not perfect.

loulouflowerpower : As much as I would love to see another Sherlock baby, I hope he and Molly were a bit more careful this time ;-)

TadPole11 : You are right about many things. I think Sherlock, despite being a genius, is also very immature. And without John, and even more Mycroft, I don't know what he would have become. With the years, he is finally growing up but as you said, the time for him and Molly has passed. Well… the future will tell us.

To be continued…


	15. Christmas Day

**Chapter 15**

The following day, the usual Christmas Dinner turned into a lunch since Audrey couldn't wait to see Sherlock anymore. Molly had agreed to come with her. John was visiting his sister Harry with Jack, but said he would come later that day.

It was a private clinic, chosen by Mycroft of course, and known for its confidentiality. Molly didn't doubt that all the staff had been briefed about the "official" appendicitis version. There were decorations everywhere but it was still a depressing place to spend Christmas Day.

"Audrey, I'll go in first because I need to talk to Sherlock about something."

"But I want to see him!"

"You'll go right after and you can stay as long as you want. I have to go back home after but your uncle's driver is going to bring you back. Or you can wait for Dad and Jack."

Molly was anxious, it was the first time she was going to be alone with Sherlock since _that_ night. She pushed the door hesitantly and tried not make too much noise as he seemed to be asleep. She sat on the chair next to his bedside and looked at him. He seemed strangely fragile in his hospital bed, paler than ever and with an IV in his arm. She couldn't help feeling partly responsible for the situation. She shouldn't have ignored his messages. She should have known better that in Sherlock's own language, a simple "we need to talk" was a cry for help. Mycroft was right, she had to be honest with him, even if it was painful.

He opened his eyes and small smirk formed at the corner of his lips with he noticed her presence.

«Mrs Watson, what a lovely surprise.»

«Hello Sherlock. How do you feel? », she asked, ignoring his sarcasm.

«As you see, I had better days », he said with a frown.

She could tell that he was still shaken. Actually, he was lucky to be alive. His brother had found him unconscious at his flat after the surveillance team had reported he hadn't been seen for the past 48 hours. The amount of pills he had taken could have made his heart stop.

« How could you be so stupid? Did you think about Audrey? »

«It was an ACCIDENT! I didn't try to kill myself if that's what you imply. »

«Then why did you start taking those things? You knew it was dangerous, especially…»

«Oh you can say it. Especially with my _history? »_

He straightened up on his bed and continued: "I wanted to delete it… Irene, you, everything! I wanted to get it out of my mind. I used to be able to do that, but it's not working anymore and it's driving me crazy."

"Sherlock…" she sighed. "You cannot delete people, or the way you feel about them. I know it's hard but you have to live with it. Maybe it seems impossible to you right now, but things will go better with time. »

"Oh please, don't give of one those ridiculous cliché like _time will make it better._"

"But it's true. Maybe… maybe you'll meet someone else."

"I don't want to meet someone else!", he almost yelled. "I don't want to meet anybody! I'm done with all this nonsense, I should have never cared in the first place."

"You know that's not true… Despite what you think, you do have a heart, you've proved it to me many times. It might be broken right now, but it won't last forever. You've changed, you became a better person. Don't go back into your shell."

"And what is the point?", he snorted, "she made a fool out of me". And the only other woman I'm interested in is already taken."

Molly looked away uncomfortably. "Sherlock, don't. You know it's …"

"I know. I suppose my brother talked to you as well. For my own good, right?"

"Yes I spoke with Mycroft. But it doesn't have anything to do with him. What happened the other night… was a mistake. You know my feelings. I loved you, I think I still do. But I also love John and he's my husband." She paused for a moment, choosing her words carefully.

"I don't want an affair and I don't want to leave him."

It was the nicest way she could think of saying him no, if there could be a nice way for it. He didn't answer immediately. He seemed to be thinking for a moment, then finally broke the awkward silence:

"I am not asking you to. I had more than my chances with you, I didn't take it and now it's too late. If it was any other man in the world… things would be different. But it's John."

Molly felt her stand still.

"It's fine" he continued, "I'll go back my work. I have more than neglected it lately."

"You need to get better first, your work can wait. When will you be out?"

"Tomorrow I hope."

"And then?"

"Then… Mycroft already took me an appointment with some _therapist_. Like if I hadn't already seen enough of them before the age of ten."

"You're not 10 anymore, you're 44 and I think it's a really good idea. There are a lot of subjects you should talk about: Moriarty, Irene, that thing you told me about your parents…"

"… Or you ?"

"Me, if you want to…. So, will you go?"

"I'll see"

"I trust you. If you don't do it for yourself, then do it for Audrey."

"Is she here?"

"Yes, she's outside. And I should go now, she's waiting to see you."

She stood up and picked up her bag to leave.

"Sherlock, whatever happens you have your daughter and she loves you unconditionally. So you'd better recover soon from this…appendicitis."

She put her hand on his arm and gave it a gentle squeeze.

"And I'm still your friend."

He nodded but didn't look back at her.

"Goodbye"

"Goodbye Sherlock, see you soon."

^/^

"Papa!", exclaimed Audrey, almost running into the room.

She gave Sherlock a kiss on the cheek and sat on the corner of his bed.

"I was so scared! Are you feeling better? Did it hurt?"

"A little bit, but I'm doing better already."

"Did they give it to you, the appendix? When my friend Kelly had appendicitis, they gave it to her in a jar."

"No they didn't. I wish they had, I would have put it on my mantelpiece. Did you like my presents?"

"I loved all of them! The dress is so beautiful, thank you! But we missed you. Christmas wasn't the same without you."

"Oh I'm sure."

"Look, I brought your presents", she said showing him a bag. There were some chocolates too, but Grandma said you're not allowed for now. Can you open mine first?"

She didn't let him the time to answer and shoved a packet into his hands.

"Hum, let me guess", he said. "From the shape and size I would say it's a book, however the weight indicates…"

"Oh I hate when you do that!", interrupted Audrey. "It's not funny. Don't try to guess, just open it!"

"Alright, alright." Sherlock obeyed and started unwrapping his gift.

"Let me look… oh it's a violin partition, excellent. From Sarasate, my favourite, how did you know?"

"Uncle Mycroft."

Sherlock gave the sheet a closer look and raised an eyebrow. "Wait, is it an original? Audrey it must have cost a fortune, this is crazy."

"Not that much, I found a good deal on Ebay. And… dad paid for half of it but I will give him back the money later. Do you like it?"

Sherlock was speechless. For a moment, Audrey feared that he disliked her present. But soon, a smile appeared upon his face and he took her hand.

"I don't like it. I adore it. Viens la ma chérie."

Audrey knew that when her papa would switch to French, it meant he wanted to say things he was too shy to say in English. She didn't hesitate and pulled him into a hug, almost suffocating him. She didn't notice, but a single tear rolled on Sherlock's cheek. She released her embrace and he wiped it before she could see.

"Will you play it?"

"I'll try. It's a beautiful piece of music but I never managed to play it right."

"Well, you have all year to practice and you can play it next Christmas."

Audrey had a capacity for optimism that never ceased to amaze Sherlock. Sometimes, he was still wondering how he could have created something so beautiful.

"What is it?", she asked as he was staring at her.

"Nothing", he said pensively. "You look more and more like your mother".

"Mum says I look more and more like you."

"I think you took the best out of each."

Her melodious laugh filled the room. "Oh I forgot something… You have to wear this! ". She looked into her bag and pulled out a red and white Santa hat.

"Is it absolutely necessary?", asked Sherlock with an air of repulsion.

"Absolutely!", stated Audrey.

Sherlock did as he was told, and they spent the rest of the afternoon opening present. This was the best therapy he could ever think of.

^/^

_**I hope all of you spent a nice Christmas. I wish you all the best for the upcoming year, with more Sherlock soon !**_

_**And I dedicate this chapter to someone close to me who, like Sherlock, spent Christmas at the hospital.**_


	16. Time to talk

**Chapter 16**

After the Christmas incident, Sherlock finally agreed to consult a therapist. She was a smart woman, who saw right through him since the first meeting and never tried to label him under any diagnostic. The sessions were supposed to last one month, but he finally went for two years.

He managed to kick the pill addiction quickly and went back to his work better than ever. During those years, John and he solved some of their most fascinating cases such as the Dancing Men mystery or the Sussex Vampire.

Like Molly had said, time slowly healed Sherlock's pain. He heard that Irene had married her producer but they divorced not even one year later, apparently for the same reasons which had caused their breakup. She was probably already searching for her next future ex-husband.

Nothing happened anymore between Sherlock and Molly, even if the temptation was still there sometimes. They agreed never to talk again about the night they had spent together. However, Sherlock noticed that Molly let her hair grown long. She knew that he liked them that way, and it was like a silent message between them.

Audrey was growing up fast and was turning into a beautiful young woman. Growing was the right word since she was soon taller than Molly and John. Teenage years didn't do any good to her increasing attitude. At her age, Molly was a shy and hesitating creature. Audrey was anything but shy. She had clearly inherited Sherlock's somewhat irritating confidence, but with perfectly normal social skills. An explosive cocktail which was going to attract many boys. Fights were frequent at home, mostly about curfew hours, skirts lengths and inappropriate make up. Molly and John were doing their best, and knew that Mycroft was secretly keeping an eye on her acquaintances.

Sherlock, as usual, wasn't particularly helpful. He had given up long ago the hope of having any authority on his daughter. She wouldn't necessary come to spend the weekends anymore, but they were still very close.

^/^

For her 17th birthday, Sherlock took her on a trip to France. It had been Audrey's dream for many years, and he was also expected in Paris to receive the "Legion d'Honneur". The French government had decided to honor him after he assisted their secret services in a particularly delicate mission. He had accepted it partly to piss off Mycroft, who was still offering him a knighthood he kept turning down.

On her birthday night, he took Audrey to "La Tour d'Argent", one of the most beautiful and expensive restaurants in town.

"Une réservation pour Monsieur Holmes et Mademoiselle Watson, par ici s'il vous en prie. » The waiter took them to their table, and his eyes lingered a bit too long on Audrey.

"Do you think he took me for your girlfriend?", she whispered.

"I think he was mostly interested in your _décolleté_", replied Sherlock, "which is outrageous by the way."

"Oh come on…"

"Could you please button it up so that I don't look like a pervert?"

Audrey rolled her eyes but she complied as the waiter was coming back to take the orders.

"Je vous écoute."

"Je prendrai la Saint-Jacques dorée aux poireaux », said Sherlock.

« Et moi… la ? le Carré d'Agneau s'il vous plait », added Audrey.

Sherlock could speak French like a native but Audrey was still struggling a little bit.

"I wish I could speak like you and Uncle Mycroft", she complained."

"Our mother taught it to us when were still children. I think you're doing better and better."

"My teacher thinks I have a good accent. But I didn't tell her you were a quarter French."

The rest of the meal went on nicely and the food was delicious. They talked about their trip but Sherlock was also curious to know about Audrey's choices for her future.

"How is school doing?", he inquired.

"Good."

"Have you decided what you would like to do next year?"

"I… filled an application for Central St Martins, in fashion."

"I'm not surprised. I saw some of your sketches, they're excellent."

"So you're not… disappointed?"

"Why should I be disappointed? It is an excellent school!"

"I don't know but… Jack wants to be a doctor like Mum and Dad. I thought that maybe you would be prefer if was doing something more… intellectual? But I'm not like you, I'm not a genius."

"Audrey you're perfectly smart and I really do not wish for you to follow my steps. If fashion is what makes you happy, then fashion it is. And if you can't find a job that suits you, then invent it!"

"Thank you", she said with a smile. "Also… I've been contacted to do a bit of modeling. It's not what I'm really interested in but, it could be a good start to get into the industry."

"For sure", agreed Sherlock.

"But… Mum and Dad aren't very excited about the idea. Actually they're completely against it."

"Wait, I'm not signing anything behind their back."

"No but maybe you could talk to them about it? It's a really good opportunity and so many girls would kill for it. But they keep going on and on about how dangerous it is, because of anorexia and drugs…"

Her last word caused Sherlock to raise an eyebrow in alarm.

"And of course they have nothing to worry about?"

"No! I'm not anorexic, I'm just naturally thin."

"And, about the drugs?"

"I don't take anything", she replied.

Sherlock's expression darkened and Audrey bit her lip. Her father was a human lie detector, and she knew instantly that she hadn't passed the test.

"Ok, ok… but it's really nothing, I swear."

"Audrey! How can you say it's nothing? This is extremely serious!"

"It was just a joint or two and it was at a party. It's not the end of the world!"

"Shut up!", he cut off.

Audrey froze. There was something clearly menacing in his eyes and for the first time ever, she felt almost scared of him.

"Finish your dessert and we're going back to the hotel", he added bluntly.

"I'm not hungry anymore."

"Me neither, pick up your bag."

^/^

The taxi ride that followed was silent and one could feel the tension in the air. They arrived at the hotel without exchanging a word. Sherlock had booked a suite with two bedrooms. Audrey immediately ran to hers and slammed the door.

Half an hour later, Sherlock went to knock tentatively.

"Are you sleeping?"

The answer came after a moment: "No!"

Sherlock opened the door. Audrey was lying on her bed, flipping through the pages of a magazine while TV was running in the background. She didn't give him a look.

"Are you still mad at me?", he asked.

She shrugged and mumbled: "You're the one who's mad at me."

He sat on the bed, took the remote control and turned the TV off.

"Listen…", he started, "I shouldn't have reacted this way. That was stupid of me."

This time she raised her eyes and asked: "Are you going to tell Mum and Dad?"

"No. But I still would like to talk to you. Can you listen to me for a moment?"

She closed her magazine and switched to a sitting position.

"Audrey, you know I don't bother you with anything. I don't say anything about the outfits, the parties, even… boys. And God knows I should say something about it, but it's not my business as long as you… take your precautions."

"Papa, please don't. I already had that conversation with Mum."

"OK… good", said Sherlock. For a brief moment he wondered if Molly was really the best person to give advice about birth control, but he had no desire to start a discussion about sex.

"But drugs, this is something else. I'm not mad, I'm not yelling at you… I just want you to tell me exactly what you did and when?"

"I told you the truth. It was joints only and it happened twice, at some parties."

"Who bought it?"

"Some people I didn't know."

"Why did you do it?"

"I don't know… I was just curious and I didn't even really like it. I understand it's bad and I won't do it again, ok?

This time he could tell that she was sincere. However he wondered if the message had been clear enough. After a moment of hesitation, he continued.

"Do you know why your parents are so scared?"

"Because they love me and they worry about me?", answered Audrey.

"No. I mean… yes but not only. They're afraid of seeing you becoming like me."

"I don't get it?"

He closed his eyes for an instant and took a deep breath as if he was going to say something particularly difficult.

"Audrey… before you were born, I led a quite questionable life. And before I knew your dad it was even worse." He paused, while his daughter was getting increasingly puzzled.

"I was a drug addict. I'm trying to come up with a nicer word for it, but there isn't."

"Oh", she said, "what did you take ? Marijuana?"

"Sometimes, yes. But I was more into… harder stuff."

"Like cocaïne ?"

"Yes. Cocaïne, morphine, heroïn. A bit of everything."

"How old were you?"

"About your age when I started. But things went really bad after I got into Uni."

"Did your parents find out?"

"My father had already passed away. But Mycroft found out, and then my mother."

"What happened?"

"They tried to make me stop. Sometimes it worked for a few weeks or a few months, but it was too hard. I couldn't study anymore, I had to leave university."

"Where did you go?"

"I stayed with Mycroft for a while. Until one day, we had a big fight. I ran away, and I stole money from him. I spent it all on drugs of course. When I couldn't pay for an hotel anymore I almost lived on the street."

"This is terrible… Is it why you always give to homeless people? Not just because you need information, right?"

"They do give some very valuable information. But you're right, it is not the only reason. I know how hard it is when you're out there, and how you can easily meet some very dangerous people. There are many lost kids, I just try to help a few of them when I can."

"Did someone help you?"

"Yes, someone you know very well. Inspector Lestrade, well he was only a sergeant at this time. He arrested me during a drugs bust. My brother pulled some strings so that I could avoid a jail sentence. I was sent to rehab instead. And surprisingly, Lestrade came to visit me. He had seen in my file that I contacted the Yard years ago to give them my theory about a mysterious death. So he started bringing other cases, things he was working on. It turned out that all the advice I gave him was correct. Then he stopped and said he wouldn't give me anymore work until I got completely clean."

"And it worked?"

"Yes, and this how I found out what I wanted to do with my life. But it was hard and painful, very painful. Now… you can be ashamed of me, I would understand if you were. This is a part of my life I'm really not proud about. I wasn't really planning on telling you, but I think you're old enough and this is the right time. I know you want to experiment, it's natural, but please be careful. I would sleep better at night if you promised me you'll never touch any of those things again."

"I promise", she answered, with tears in her voice.

"Good". He looked down to the floor, clearly uncomfortable.

"Papa, I'm not ashamed of you. I'm a bit shocked because I didn't expect something like that, but I'm not ashamed. Actually… I'm glad you told me all this. Because a lot of times I realise that I don't know anything about you. I mean, I know about your cases but that's all."

"What would you like to know?"

"Hum, I don't know. For example, what you did you study at university?"

"Chemistry."

"Oh, of course. It makes sense. And… did you have friends at school? Because I never hear you talking about anyone."

"No, I wasn't really…popular. But it didn't bother me too much because I liked being on my own. Actually, I did have one friend in Uni, his name was Victor. I met him because his dog bit me. We were getting along pretty good. But then his family moved to the States, and I didn't hear about him anymore."

"You could look for him on Facebook", suggested Audrey.

"Yes, maybe. I wonder what he became", said Sherlock with a grin.

"And… how did you and Mum meet the first time?"

_Maybe the whole Q&A session wasn't such a good idea after all,_ though Sherlock. But he had been honest so far so there was no reason to stop.

"I was sometimes going to Bart's morgue to examine some bodies with the police. I noticed she was new so I went to talk to her and I took her number. I called her the following day and asked if I could come to see her. That wasn't really nice because she thought it was for a date when actually I just wanted to use the lab. She still let me in though."

"You know… when I ask Mum about how you and she got together, it's always quite vague. I think she doesn't want me to know the truth. But you two were never really together, right?"

"Well, we were together at some point otherwise you wouldn't be here."

"No but I mean, you weren't in a relationship. It's ok, you can tell me, I know those things happen. It was an accident?"

"I don't particularly like that term and it is a bit more complex than that. But we weren't planning to have a baby. At least I wasn't. Your Mum, I think she always wanted you even if it was unconscious. For me, it was a longer process, originally I didn't want to have children."

"Why?"

"Because I didn't want to be like my own father."

"What was he like? I saw his picture, but Grandma never talks about him."

"He was very strict. The only thing that mattered to him was the reputation of the family, and I didn't fit his standards. Unlike Mycroft, Mycroft was perfect. I don't think he ever saw me as his son, only as a problem that needed to be fixed. _What are we going to do with Sherlock?, _seemed to be his favourite line. He died when I was 14 and I don't think we ever had a proper conversation. I don't miss him. But sometimes I wish he was still there so that I could ask him… what was so wrong with me."

"I don't think you're anything like him."

"I tried. You know I'm not very good at talking about… how I feel. But you're the most important person in my life and I'm so proud of you. I want to make sure that you know that."

Audrey smiled. "When I was little, Mum would always tell me that I had to give you hugs and tell you nice things because you didn't know how. I think it worked."

"That sounds very much like you Mum…", Sherlock said pensively. "Ok, so to celebrate the 17th anniversary of the_ accident_ which made me a very happy man, I suggest you take a look under your bed where you might find something interesting."

"A present?", asked Audrey with a excitement. She immediately bent to check under the bed.

"Oh my God. Papa you're crazy !"

"I've been told so."

She dragged a box which was marked with the famous double C monogram.

"I'm hyperventilating just from the packet. Is it a bag? No don't tell me". She quickly unwrapped the present. "The Chanel 2.55 ? I love you, I love you, I love you!"

Sherlock was smiling broadly.

"What don't you open it?", he suggested.

"There's something inside? Let me see… Two invitations for the Chanel Fashion Show? Front row?"

This time she was truly speechless. "Papa… this is my dream! How did you get them?"

"I helped Lagerfeld on a case a few years ago. Let's say the Chanel House owns me a little favour."

"You're my hero", she said and gave him a kiss on the cheek. "And not just for that…", she added, "also for what you told me before, you're my hero."

_Heroes don't exist, _though Sherlock. But for once he accepted the compliment.

^/^

_**So for those who watched the new episode yesterday, we had our little Sherlock/Molly moment (I loved it !). It actually gives me plenty of new ideas but I really want to finish this fic first. There are a few chapters left so watch out for it, and keep reviewing.**_

_**Happy New Year to all of you !**_


	17. HWH

**Chapter 17**

For Sherlock's 50th birthday, Audrey and Molly had planned a big party at Simpson's, one of his favourite restaurants in London. Of course he knew about it, and they knew that he knew, but everybody still pretended that it was a surprise.

It was a Sunday. Family and friends were here, but also many of Sherlock's past clients. There were even a few criminals who, after paying their debt to society, had remained in touch with the great detective. That day should have been a celebration of Sherlock's life and work. Sadly, it was remembered for a very different reason.

The room was buzzing with conversations and the guests were enjoying drinks and a buffet lunch. Audrey was navigating through the crowd, making sure that everybody was having a good time. Sherlock received many compliments on his daughter's beauty, and he couldn't help bragging about her promising designer career.

"She is the next big name in fashion for sure", he told Angelo.

"Oh don't listen to him", interrupted Audrey, "I haven't even finished school yet".

"She's the best student of her class, and she already created her own collection", added Sherlock.

"Fantastic!", exclaimed Angelo, "Is it true Signorina Audrey ?"

"Yes.. And I finally came up with a name for it."

"What is it?", asked Molly.

"HWH", answered Audrey.

"Oh. Clever", commented Sherlock with a grin.

"What does it mean?", inquired Molly.

"Holmes-Watson-Hooper"

"Oh it's lovely darling!", said Molly. She placed a kiss on her daughter's cheek.

"Mum, where is dad?"

"He went to visit one of his patient in Staines."

"This morning?", asked Sherlock.

"I told him to send one of his colleagues. But you know John… It's an old lady with diabetes, he wanted to make sure she was alright. He said it wouldn't be too long but apparently it's taking a while. I tried to call him but he's not answering his phone. He's probably driving back right now."

^/^

The birthday cake arrived (it was decorated with a deerstalker and magnifying glass), and the guests gathered for the toasts which were supposed to be pronounced by John and Lestrade. Since John hadn't arrived yet, the Detective Inspector went first.

"_Ladies and Gentlemen. We are here today to celebrate the 50__th__ Birthday of the world's still only consulting detective: Mr Sherlock Holmes."_

The crowd cheered and applauded.

"_It may sound unexpected, since some of us here already attended his funeral"._

This last line raised a few laughs in the audience.

"_As you may be aware, I will be retiring from the Yard at the end of this year. And I am pretty certain my career would have been radically different if I hadn't crossed Sherlock's path. His work has been a continuous and incredible help to the police forces of our country. You have certainly heard about his numerous exploits in the press, but there are also countless other cases in which his name has never been mentioned._

_It's been a chance for me to work with Sherlock, and I learnt a lot from him. His observation and deduction method should be textbook for any aspiring detective. Oh of course, his eccentricities also gave me a couple of sleepless nights and issues with my hierarchy. But today I'd like to tell him, thank you._

Sherlock was listening with only half an ear. His attention was focused on Molly, who was standing a few steps behind him. She was checking at her phone nervously. She had already left John's two messages and he hadn't call back. Sherlock had tried to call him once as well but he had landed directly on voicemail. He had the growing feeling that something was wrong and it was making him feel almost sick.

Lestrade continued:_ "I'd also like to tell him that I am proud of what he became. __Twenty nine years ago, I met… don't take offence Sherlock. I met an arrogant, __egocentric__, __quite__insufferable young__ man. But along the years, I've discovered that he was also the most loyal friend you could ask for. Even if he will deny it, I know he would do absolutely anything for those he cares for. __I remember once saying: Sherlock Holmes is a great man, __and I think one day, if we're all very very lucky, he might even be a good one. Well I think we have been more than lucky.__ "_

Molly's phone rang and she discreetly stepped aside to take the call.

It was an unknown number, but she picked up immediately because maybe it was John calling from a different phone. But it wasn't.

"Mrs Molly Watson?", said the man.

"Yes it's me."

"This is Dr Samuel Jenkins at West Middlesex Hospital, I am calling you regarding your husband, Dr John Watson."

Molly shivered. She didn't like the tone in the man's voice. She had heard it too many times during her career.

"What… what happened? "

"Mrs Watson… your husband was brought into the ER after a car accident later this morning. It was a collision involving several vehicles. He was suffering from extensive wounds when he arrived in our service and he despite all our efforts… we haven't been able to save him. I am… extremely sorry."

The word's hurt like a knife, a single blow to the heart. She dropped the phone and put her hand to her mouth to stifle a scream. Behind her, everybody was still listening to Lestrade's speech, laughing, drinking Champagne. They had no idea that for her, it was all over. Everybody expect Sherlock. He had followed the whole scene from where he was. He didn't need to hear the details of the conversation, he instantly understood.

He was there to catch her when she fell.


	18. Cats & Bees

**Chapter 18**

For the second time in her life, Molly Hooper had lost the man she loved. Except this time there would be no come back, no second chance. The mortician had pulled back the sheet for her to see the body, a gesture she had made herself countless times. But now it was her husband lying there in front of her, dead.

He looked peaceful. She noticed a nasty head wound which had been cleaned up, but his face wasn't too damaged. Molly had never been afraid of death. She would have made another career choice otherwise. But this, was so unfair. So unfair that after years of life together, John and her didn't even get a proper goodbye. He had left home in a hurry, saying "Don't wait for me, see you at Simpson's". And she just replied "Ok, bye".

They were supposed to grow old together, they still had so many years ahead. He couldn't leave her like that, in the middle of the road. How was she supposed to carry on? And what about their children? Audrey was eighteen years old and Jack only sixteen, both way too young to lose their dad.

She looked at him one last time and burst into tears. She remembered everything. The first time they met, at Bart's, and she almost didn't see him. The second time, when she couldn't remember his name. The pool's explosion, the tragic trip to Switzerland and the pain they had shared after Sherlock's death. Two lonely souls left behind by the enigmatic genius. There had been the lunch at Alfredo's after her second scan and the memorable taxi ride as she was about to give birth. Their first kiss, their first night together, their wedding, the look in his eyes the first time he held Jack. Maybe he hadn't been her first choice, but he never was second best. God she had loved him…

Sherlock was waiting outside in the corridor, and she knew he was as broken as she was. She could tell exactly what John would say right now: _"You two take care of each other"._ And he would say it with no malice, because he had no idea that they had betrayed him. Because he was so good that he couldn't see the flaws in the ones he loved.

She caressed his cheek gently, one last time.

^/^

Almost one week after Sherlock's birthday party, almost the same guests were gathered, but this time for a funeral. Molly was seated on the first row, looking so tiny and fragile in her black dress. At her right were seated Jack and John's mother, who had barely said a word to her daughter-in-law. On her left were Audrey and Sherlock. They were all staring at the coffin, draped in the flag of the Fifth Northumberland Fusiliers.

Sherlock was the one to make the speech. Everybody expected him to, and Molly never liked to speak in public. He was wearing a classic black suit and, maybe for the first time, a tie. He stepped up in front of the audience and remained silent for a moment.

"So I suppose this is the moment where people pay some kind of tribute…" he started.

"John, you used to call me Mr Punchline, but today I don't know what to say. Because I never imagined that I could outlive you. I was the one who kept flirting with death, and you kept… saving me. The first time you saved my life, we had known each other for less than 48 hours. And yet, you didn't hesitate one second. What you did, on that day, I will never forget it.

From that moment, I knew we were going to be more than flatmates. You were the friend I wished I had when I grew up. My best friend, my blogger, and my brother in many ways. Not my lover despite the rumors. I remember one day… you joked saying that when you die you would have "_I was actually not gay" _written on your grave. I don't think it will be necessary. Funny how we were so often mistaken for a couple, and in the end… we ended up loving the same woman."

Some people in the audience exchanged embarrassed glances and Molly looked at the floor uncomfortably.

"I guess that's the kind of moment when you would have told me _a bit not good. _You see, this is why I'm going to miss you. When I met you I didn't know about those things. I was… so alone. And now I'm angry at you. Because you left me and died in the most unimaginative way possible, a bloody car accident. Nothing for me to investigate on, not even a tiny mystery." He smiled but at the same time a single tear rolled on his cheek.

"You know I don't believe in the afterlife or… whatever you call this. But for you I'll make an effort. Because I cannot imagine that this is how it ends. Goodbye John, we'll see each other again."

^/^

The days following John's death had been difficult, but the hardest time came after the funeral. So far Molly had kept herself busy with organizing the ceremony, answering the numerous condolences messages and dealing with legal matters. But once it was over, she truly realised the terrible void left in her life. It was the same pain every morning, waking up and seeing the other half of the bed empty. Coming back at night, and not hearing him talk about his day at work. _Time will make it better_, she once said to Sherlock. But now she wasn't so sure about it anymore.

Hopefully she was not alone. There were her children, who had been exceptionally brave through this ordeal. And Sherlock, who was being very supportive. Maybe a bit too much, people were talking, even more after his misplaced love declaration at the funeral. She didn't care about the gossips, but she knew that it hurt her family. Especially Jack, to whom the idea that another man could replace his father so quickly was unbearable. One night, he found his mother in the kitchen, crying in Sherlock's arms. He didn't say a word but he left the flat slamming the door. They hadn't done anything wrong, but Molly decided it was wiser if they stopped seeing each other for a while.

Time did bring some kind of comfort. She thought that she would never be able to laugh again, but one it day it happened. At first she felt almost guilty about it. She still missed him terribly, but life was going on. Audrey was moving out, she had decided to rent a small flat with one of her friends. And soon Jack would leave for university. He was working hard to get into medical school and, one day, there would be another Dr Watson in the family.

Some of her friends suggested that she should start dating again, which after almost one year was probably acceptable. She created a profile on a website but never actually used it. Maybe because somewhere in her heart, she knew she didn't need to look for anyone.

Things hadn't been easy for Sherlock either. Another tragedy struck him soon after John's death when he lost his mother. Molly saw him at the funeral and then he disappeared for months. She heard from Mycroft that he was travelling abroad.

They met again for a much more cheerful occasion: Audrey's graduation. They sat next to each other, and posed as proud parents with their daughter. For the first time they were even introduced to a boyfriend. Sherlock resisted the urge to make his usual rather unpleasant deductions, as Audrey seemed to be serious about him.

A few weeks later, Molly received a text from Sherlock. He said there was something he wanted to tell her about, and invited her for lunch. It had been a long time since they hadn't spent a moment alone together and she couldn't help studying him. He had aged, but not in bad way. She noticed that he was struggling to read the menu because he obviously needed glasses but refused to wear them. He noticed that she had taken off her wedding ring but was now wearing it on a chain.

They talked about John and Audrey, but he hadn't said a word yet about the reason for which he had invited her. By dessert, she couldn't wait any longer and decided to question him.

"So, you said there was something you wanted to tell me about? What is it?"

"I'm retiring."

"Retiring ? Why ?"

"I've had enough. The criminal class of this city suffers from a chronicle lack of imagination. The new Detective Inspector of the Yard is even more incompetent than Lestrade and… it's not the same without John."

He took a deep breath and continued: "Molly, I'm leaving London. I bought a house in East Sussex, I will move there by the end of the month. I don't know yet what I will do about Baker Street. I might sell it, or Audrey or Jack can have it if they want."

She couldn't believe her ears. Sherlock "married-to-his-work" Holmes was retiring? And planning to move to the countryside?

"Sussex? You're going to live in Sussex? Sherlock… don't take it bad, but we both know you're going to get bored after two weeks. What on earth are you going to do over there?"

"I plan to keep bees", he answered.

"Bees? You mean with hives and everything?", she asked, raising an eyebrow.

"That's normally where bees live, yes."

She initially thought that it was a joke but he seemed absolutely serious. This time she couldn't help laughing. "I'm… look I'm sorry, it's just that… I had no idea you were interested in… bees?"

"Of course I'm interested in bees. Bees are fascinating. It's something I have been wanting to do for years."

It felt good seeing him so enthusiastic again.

"That's great then. I'm happy for you."

"I want you to come with me", he said.

"I'm sorry?"

"I want you to come with me to Sussex."

His request took her completely by surprise. Was he asking her to live with him ?

"Sherlock I… I can't, I have my job here"

"You wouldn't need to work anymore, I'll take care of it. It's a cottage, not far from the sea. Very nice, but too big for me. There is some room for you, and for the children if they want to visit."

"Listen it's… it's very generous of you but I can't accept."

"Why?"

"Because it's… too much and it's too early. I'm still only recovering you know."

"That's the point. There is nothing holding you back here, except memories. It… would be good for you. There's a garden, you could have a cat. You could have a whole cat shelter if you like."

She smiled imagining herself surrounded by cats, while Sherlock would be taking care of his hives.

"And… of course I'll need someone to put the stickers on the honey jars", he added with a grin.

"Oh I see so it's not a completely selfless offer then. Look… it sounds amazing but I'm not sure about the… living together part. I'm not ready, I still think about him all the time…"

"Me too. And I'm asking this as a friend, nothing more. I mean, except if you want to."

He grabbed her hand and looked at her straight in the eyes. After all those years he still had the capacity to make her blush.

"So ?", he asked, waiting for an answer.

"I need some time… to think about it."

"Good. But don't take too long, life's too short Molly."

^/^

**Thank you so much to all of you who reviewed and subscribed to this fic. There is one more chapter coming before the end ;-)**


	19. Epilogue

**Chapter 19**

Molly took her time but she finally agreed to come to Sussex for vacation. She was supposed to stay four days. She never left.

She fell in love with the place almost instantly. It was a lovely Victorian cottage, which had been recently renovated. The garden was a bit abandoned but she could take care of it. Sherlock had also bought another piece of land nearby where he had installed his hives. The first floor was composed of a living room, with a fireplace for the long winter evenings, a kitchen and a study where Sherlock had installed his books and his science equipment.

There were three bedrooms upstairs. The messy one obviously belonged to the retired detective and Molly settled in one of the guest rooms. They didn't really discuss the status of their relationship and lived as flatmates for a few weeks. Until one night, when she silently crept into his room and joined him in bed claiming that she was cold. They didn't make love that night but there were a few kisses exchanged in the dark. When it happened the following day, they felt almost shy, like two teenagers. He confessed her that he didn't have anyone since their last time, just after his breakup with Irene.

They didn't need to hide themselves anymore, but living together wasn't always easy at first. Clearly Sherlock wasn't John and it was complicated to get him to respect basic rules such as regular meal times. They had some fights, after which he would generally disappear for a long walk in the countryside. But when he was back, she would find a bunch of wild flowers left on the kitchen's table. She knew it was his way to say sorry.

With time they settled into some kind of routine. Molly enjoyed cooking, gardening and also joined the local chorale. Even if it wasn't a proper shelter, she had a group of cats that she would feed every day. There was a particularly mischievous little black one that they adopted and named "Jim".

Sherlock would generally start his days by a morning swim, as the beach was only twenty minutes away. Then he would divide his afternoons between beekeeping and chemistry experiments. He published several monographs, including a _"Practical Handbook of Bee Culture, with some Observations upon the Segregation of the Queen"._ Molly knew he didn't like to be disturbed in his study, but she liked to have a look at his papers when he was away. This is how she discovered that he was also writing poetry. He never showed it to her, but she knew he was probably aware that she was secretly reading it.

The word had spread that a celebrity was living in the village and some children would sometimes knock at their door to ask if it was true he was the famous Sherlock Holmes. He would generally deny it at first, to end up showing them his collection of memories and accept to pose for a picture with the infamous deerstalker.

It was a simple but happy life, far from the Londonbustle. Audrey came to visit them several times. Even if she still sorely missed her dad, it was a joy for her to see her parents reunited and obviously in love. It took more time for Jack to accept the situation, but he realised that his mother was happy again.

They also received the visit of Mycroft and Anthea. The older Holmes had retired from his position at the government but his brother didn't doubt that he was still the most influential man in England. However, he was now able to officialise his relationship with his former PA. They even decided to adopt a little boy from South Korea. Sherlock mocked him, saying that he was old enough to be the child's grandfather. But Molly knew that he couldn't wait to be called "Uncle Sherlock".

^/^

Sherlock didn't celebrate his birthdays anymore, because the date also marked the anniversary of John's death. It had been three years and that day was still filled with a mix of tension and melancholy. Molly went to church and lighted a candle in his memory. Sherlock spent most of his time in his study, going through his old case files.

When Molly joined him in bed at night, he was silently staring at the ceiling.

"Happy Birthday", she murmured to his ear.

"There's nothing happy about it", he answered mechanically.

"It's still your birthday."

He finally looked at her. She noticed a red mark on his neck and ran her finger on it.

"What is this? Did you get stung by one of your bees?"

"Don't touch it."

"Does it hurt?"

"No, but don't touch it."

She leaned and placed a gentle kiss on the sting.

"What are you doing?", he asked.

"It's a magic kiss. It usually works with children."

He smirked and kissed her. She settled in their favorite position, her head resting on his chest while he was stroking her hair.

"Should we get married?", he suddenly asked.

"What?"

"Do you want to be my wife?"

Molly blinked in surprise. He was always unpredictable but this time she was completely thrown off guard. Becoming his wife was something she had dreamt about many times, especially during the first years they had known each other. But she had stop hoping for it long ago. She was already happy with what they had, actually she even felt like teasing him a little.

"Aren't we a bit old for that?"

"Old? The average life expectancy for English women is 81.6 years, you're only 52 and are in perfect health which means that you can count on at least 30 more years. Probably not that much for me since men average is 77.2 and I consumed hard drugs but overall I have a good constitution. Definitely not too old then… So? What do you think?"

"I don't know…. I mean we're already together, why do you want to get married?"

He raised an eyebrow. "Isn't it what people do?"

"Do when?", she insisted.

He rolled his eyes and sighed. She knew how hard it still was for him to talk about his feelings.

"When they want to be together, when… they want to show other people that they chose each other. I want everybody to know that you're the only woman who counts for me…"

Her heart was pounding and she knew that she was about to surrender.

He continued: "…and of course because I still have the ring."

"What ring?"

"The one I had bought for Irene. It's from Tiffany's…"

She abruptly released from his embrace and looked daggers at him.

"Sherlock Holmes!", she exclaimed, "Are you seriously thinking about giving me another's woman ring?"

"She never wore it, technically I never even proposed."

Molly wondered if he was also playing with her or if he honestly though there was nothing wrong with it.

"You can keep it. I'm not interested!", she answered defiantly.

"Alright_ Scarlett_, you shall have the biggest and the most vulgar ring in Sussex."

This time she couldn't help smiling. She had forced him to watch _"Gone with the wind"_ a few weeks before but she had no idea he had actually been paying attention.

"So?", he asked impatiently, "Will you marry me?"

"Do you even need to ask?"

"I'm a detective, I need answers."

"Ex detective", she corrected.

He wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her closer to him.

"Ex detective, amateur beekeeper and… very much in love with you."

She kissed him, closing her eyes to savour this perfect moment.

"The answer is yes", she whispered.

"Elementary, Mrs Holmes."

**THE END**

^/^

_So yes… this is the end. I hope you enjoyed it!_

_It feels kind of weird since I started to write "Missing Him" about 10 months ago! It was my first fic ever and I never imagined it would end up being so long._

_Again, I want to thank all of you who took the time to review. I realised that writing isn't easy, it takes a lot of time but reviews are so rewarding that once you start it is hard to stop !_

_I always loved Sherlock/Molly and it is amazing that what was just a mere fantasy in season 1 is now "almost canon" (at least in my head) after season 2 !_

_Since we still have a lot of time to kill before season 3, I will probably write more. It won't be a sequel and probably not such a long story, but our favorite pathologist will certainly be in it!_

See you soon !


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